In His Own Hands
by AppleCiderr
Summary: Izaya's life had completely fallen apart. He has no reason to live, and no motivation to try and find one. He is perfectly content to just drink and sleep around, and it seems like the only thing that will happen is that he wastes away and dies... Until one fateful day...
1. Chapter 1

To say that Orihara Izaya's life had gone downhill would be an understatement. It had dropped far lower than that, into the deepest depths possible. Honestly, though, Izaya could care less.

His battle with Shizuo had destroyed him, physically and mentally. It left him a pathetic shell of the once great informant he used to be. He never thought he could stoop this low, but he didn't even want to try and climb back up.

The second Izaya was released from the hospital, he bought the first plane ticket he saw, ended his lease, and dropped all contact with anyone in Ikebukuro. He ended up in Osaka, but didn't care to try and go any farther.

It took less than a week for him to turn to alcohol as a comfort. He'd sit in his hotel room, just drinking and drinking. When he was drunk, the scars were gone, his arms didn't hurt, and everything was better.

But it wasn't enough.

He knew his old self would have spat and called such behavior pathetic… But he was just so hurt, so tired, so lonely.. So, he started spending nights at hostels, brothels, and sleeping around anywhere he could to try and get a modicum of human contact and affection.

Izaya knew it wasn't real, that it wasn't really helping. But, he didn't care. Why should he? There was no reason to try, it wasn't like anyone needed him or cared. Why would he even put any effort anymore? It was better to wither away and die.

Days turned to weeks, weeks turned into months. The raven just kept drinking and sleeping around, there was nothing else he could do in his worthless life. With the little money he had left, he rented a small apartment and resigned himself to his new pointless existence.

Eventually, drinking was all that Izaya had energy to do. In his broken down apartment on the edge of the city, he would simply lay among the bottles, too depressed to move, and constantly hoping and wishing for the day he would finally waste away and die.

And his life stayed that way….

Until one fateful day.

* * *

Izaya, surprisingly, wasn't drunk that day, mainly because he didn't have the energy to go grab anything. He was just laying on the ratty old couch, staring at nothing in particular and hating himself for everything that had happened.

A sudden, sharp knock on his door snapped him out of his thoughts. His red eyes blearily blinked, looking towards the ratty old door. _Why would someone be knocking?_ He wondered, but was too exhausted to care anymore than that. He sighed, lowering his head back down.

Then, there was a knock again, even louder than before. This was followed by a frantic call. "Izaya, I know you're in there! I need to talk to you!" A girl's voice snapped.

Izaya jerked up once more, realizing that he did indeed recognize that voice. It was… Well he didn't really remember her name. Just one of the women he had spent a night or two with.

He forced himself to a standing, stumbling over to the door. He unlocked the pathetic excuse for a deadbolt, and opened the door the smallest bit.

Outside the door was a young woman with dyed red hair, dark eyes, and a nervous face. In her arms was a large bag, and, to the raven's horror, two newborn babies were cradled in her arms.

"Izaya, let me in, I need to talk to you," She begged,"I'm not going away until you talk to me."

The raven narrowed his eyes hatefully, before pulling the door open a little farther. "What the hell do you want?" He sneered.

"I'm here for your help," She said, walking inside so that Izaya couldn't shut her out. The raven backed up, staring at her through his shaggy bangs. Then, the woman took a deep breath. "Izaya… These are your children."

His heart dropped, blood running cold. "What the fuck are you talking about?" He demanded.

She moved farther into the apartment. "After our nights together, I got sick. I found out I was pregnant, but I couldn't find you until after they were born-"

"That's impossible!" Izaya snapped, swiping his hand through the air. "We used protection!"

"It's rare, but sometimes protection doesn't work!" The girl hissed in return,"It doesn't matter, they're already here. You need to take responsibility-"

"NO!" Izaya yelled over her. "I never wanted kids, I don't want them! Leave and take them with you! I don't want to see you again!"

She frantically shook her head, eyes brimming with tears. "I can't! I'm too young to have to take care of kids! I'm not ready!"

"Oh, but I am?!" Izaya demanded, making the two newborns start to stir and whimper.

"You have to help! You're their father!" She yelled over him.

"No I'm not! They're a mistake, never supposed to exist!" He returned,"Listen to me closely, okay? I'm don't care about them, I don't care about you, and I want nothing to do with any of you!"

Silence flowed between them, the girl just continued to silently weep in front of him. Izaya didn't back down, staring at her with a steel, disgust filled gaze. The girl finally seemed to understand that the man would not budge. She released a long, sad sigh and nodded.

A modicum of pity filled the raven. He sighed as well, rubbing his pale hand over his face. "Look," He began,"I'll pay child support, I'll even give you the first check right now…. As long as it makes it so I don't have to be involved in any other way."

The girl seemed to think for a moment, and then perked up. "Y-yes! That would be perfect! Why don't you go get the check, and I'll stay right here. Then, I'll never come back." She quickly told him.

Izaya nodded, leaving the room, and going to his small bedroom^%. But if it would make her leave him alone, it was worth it.

He wrote out the check, signing it as quickly as he could. He then hurried out of his room. But the second he opened his door, he could see what happened.

There was no sign of the girl, his front door was shut tight, and- on the ratty old couch -was the large bag that she had been holding only seconds before…

And the two newborn babies were right next to it.


	2. Chapter 2

The second the raven registered what was going on, the check fell from his hand, and he yanked open the creaky apartment door. He stumbled down the stairs, red eyes searching everywhere for the young woman. But he saw nobody, the street was completely deserted.

She was gone…

"No… No! I-I can find her! I'll track her down!" He said aloud, hurrying back to his apartment. "I'll find her and then everything can go back to the way it was!"

When he reached his doorway, Izaya suddenly stopped. No, he can't track her down… Actually he _couldn't_ track her down. He didn't have his computer anymore, he left it behind in Ikebukuro… And he couldn't use his phone because he didn't have her name.

Izaya's hands dropped to his side, kicking the door shut. He glared down at the ground, feeling a burning anger grow in his chest. How could she do this to him?! She left him with nothing!

 _Wait… The bag!_

The raven practically flew over to it, yanking open the bag, and digging through everything. He threw the baby supplies out, hearing them clank against the alcohol bottles on the ground. He didn't care about those, what he was looking for was.. There it is!

He pulled out two pieces of paper from manilla folders. It was birth certificates. He didn't even bother to see what the babies' genders or names were, he looked right for the parents names. Sure enough, right underneath his name was hers. Munkata Fumi.

Instantly, he pulled his phone back up and began typing away. He found a number attached to her very quickly. He switched to his keypad, calling the number. It rang… And rang.. And rang.. Then…

" _You have reached a number that has been disconnected or no longer in service-"_

"Dammit!" Izaya yelled, ending the call, and then quickly began looking all over once more. He tried looking for another number, a location, _anything_. But.. It was no use. There was nothing. It was if Munkata had vanished off the face of the Earth.

A sudden loud cry caused Izaya to jump, his phone falling onto the ground among the baby supplies. He turned towards the sound, noticing that the smaller baby's eyes were open, and it was screeching. Soon after, the other baby heard the crying, and began to as well.

Izaya growled, feeling his head throb, and the anger and stress from his sudden situation finally became too much. His hands threaded into his shaggy hair, yanking at the strands as he snarled,"Shut up. Shut up! SHUT UP!"

Of course, this only made the babies screech louder. The raven was too angry to care, and just pointed at the offending children. "Why do you have to exist!? I never wanted this, I never wanted kids, I never wanted responsibility!" He yelled, his vision blurring with tears. "I just want to die! Why are you prolonging that?! I should just dump you on a doorstep like she did! At least that way you wouldn't be my problem anymore! Why did this have to happen to me!"

The tears covered his vision entirely, and the raven stumbled once more, falling onto the couch next to the newborns. He buried his face in his hands, sobbing along with them. Eventually, even _that_ became too much of an effort. His hands dropped onto the couch next to him, and he slumped forward in despair.

The crying continued for a while, until there was a sudden pressure around one of Izaya's fingers… And one of the babies stopped crying.

Confusion filled with raven, and he turned his tear filled eyes towards his hand. It seemed that, somehow, the newborn closest to him had managed to get out of their blanket. Their tiny hand was wrapped tightly around his finger.

Izaya felt a strange, warm feeling rise up within him. He used his other hand to lift the baby up into his lap. Then, he reached out for the other, picking him up as well. As soon as the two children were in his arms, they almost instantly calmed down.

The raven felt guilt build up along with the warm feeling. "I'm… I'm sorry," He told the newborns. "It's not your fault, you didn't ask for this. Munkata and I should have been more careful. It's not right of me to put the blame on you.."

As if responding to his voice, the bigger of the two opened their eyes. They were red, exactly like his.. The tiny hand tightened around his finger, and it only took a half second for any thoughts he still had of dumping the babies at an orphanage to be thrown out.

Izaya held them as close as he could, and softly said,"You're my children, my responsibility. I promise, I'll care of you two, no matter what."

* * *

The raven knew that taking on the responsibility was dangerous, though, with how little money he had from his foolish endeavors and the horrible apartment he now resided in. It was not an ideal place to raise kids.

As much as it pained him to think about, he needed to ask for his family's help. He had no clue how to take care of children. Hell, he couldn't even take care of _himself_ at the moment.

So, for the second time that day, Izaya held a phone to his ears, listening to the ring that suddenly felt so torturous.

Finally, someone answered. After a second of silence, he heard his mother. "Hello?" She called curiously.

Izaya forced the lump in his throat down as he said,"Hey mom, I need to talk to you."

"Oh, hello Izaya," She huffed, her voice suddenly more monotone. "You know, you missed your sisters' tournament."

The raven frowned, hating how the woman always jumped straight to what his sisters were doing. "I'm sorry, I've just been in a tight situation recently.." He began, only to be interrupted before he could continue.

His mother made a noise like she was listening, before she declared,"Their next tournament is in two weeks, you should attend."

It wasn't a question, but Izaya ignored it. "That's not what I'm here to talk about," He firmly declared,"I'm here to ask for your help…"

The woman on the other end didn't respond, so Izaya just continued. "I need your help, just for a little bit," He began,"Someone I was… With for a short time just dropped off our children at my house. I didn't know I had kids until today, I'm taking responsibility but not prepared to be a parents. _Please,_ can I come back home and stay for a bit? Just until I'm stable again."

His mother didn't answer for the longest time, and the raven could feel the tension building up in his chest.

Finally, the older woman on the other end questioned,"Did you try to find her?"

"I did, but I couldn't find anything. No number, place of study, not even an address," He quickly replied.

"But did you look?" His mother croaked,"Did you really try and look? Or are you just being lazy?"

Izaya felt hurt stab at his heart. "Mom! I looked the best I could! I even used her full name! Why does it matter?" He questioned,"She left, she obviously didn't care."

"Well, you shouldn't either," The woman hauntingly snapped.

The raven frowned, turning his head to look at the two newborns. "What… What do you mean?" He questioned.

"They're illegitimate children, Izaya," His mother instantly declared,"They're not your responsibility."

"Yes, they are," Izaya challenged,"I wasn't careful, and she got pregnant. I have to take care of them, since she won't."

His mother scoffed. "Izaya, they're bastard children. If you two were married, I'd understand. But you weren't, they're accidents that I believe shouldn't exist within our family."

The raven felt his heart sink. "What are you saying!?" He questioned.

"Are you dense?!" The woman snapped,"I'm saying I want you to get rid of them!"

Izaya's red eyes widened, and he felt his whole brain overflow with confusion. "Why would you say something like that?" He demanded,"Mother, they're _my_ children!"

"No they are not! They are pathetic half breeds attempting to destroy our pure blood! What will my family-"

"I don't care what our family thinks! I never have! You know that!" Izaya interrupted, his red eyes burning with frustration.

"Imagine what our family would say when they heard _my_ child made such a mistake!" His mother bemoaned.

Izaya felt his hand squeezing the phone tight, filled with rage. "Of course, it always has to be about you, doesn't it? Never about me!" He snapped,"Even when it's my problem, and I'm asking you for help, all you ever do is worry about yourself and how it will make you look!"

The woman on the other end gave an angry, indignant noise. But, she took several breaths, and then, in a chillingly calm voice, declared,"You know, Izaya, you're right! It is your problem. But, I know you'll never be able to take care of them. So, I'll give you a choice; You get rid of those _things_ … Or you're no longer part of this family."

Izaya wished he could be surprised, he really did. But his mother had always been like this. Obsessed with the perfect family. It was what pushed young Izaya to do his best in everything, to be the perfect son during school. He just wanted his mother's affection… Of course he never gained it.

But his sisters did, they _always_ did. Mother always bragged about them. Maybe that was why Izaya started acting out.. Or maybe it was when he realized that his parents didn't need him for anything.

His red eyes once more returned to the newborns, who beginning to fuss and scrunch up their faces. Even though they were mistakes… They still… They still needed him.

"They need me," Izaya whispered aloud.

"What did you say?" His mother demanded.

Izaya quickly returned his attention back to the phone. "They need me! These two need me more than any of you ever did! Even if I did give them up and come running home to you, how much would change!? Nothing would!"

"So you'd give up your family for two half breeds!?" His mother nearly screamed.

"As far as I'm concerned, they're already more of a family to me than you _ever_ were," He hissed back. "Forget what I asked, forget about them, and forget about me. I'll stay here, with my _family!"_

He turned off the call, and tossed the phone away. He ignored the clatter of it, turning back to the now crying babies. Although they were defiantly upset before, his yelling had made it worse.

Izaya's eyes widened, feeling instantly panicked. He moved down to the couch, picking up the two twins as quickly, but carefully as he could.

"Hey… Hey it's okay," He whispered,"Daddy's here, that mean old lady isn't gonna bother us."

It took a second for Izaya to register what he called himself. "Daddy?" He repeated, rolling his eyes at himself. "Man, I've lost my edge, haven't I?"

A sad emotion suddenly washed over him. "But then again… It's been lost for awhile now," He admitted.

Although his words were depressing, the simple fact he was speaking seemed to calm the little ones. Izaya instantly felt pride within him, along with something even warmer that he couldn't recognize.

A sigh escaped the raven, looking down at the two. He felt guilty. There was absolutely no way he could move them out on his own, he was completely broke. _Maybe I could find a job? Maybe… Maybe go back to informant broking? What do I do?!_

"Don't worry, you two… I'm going to figure something out. We're going to get through this.. Somehow," He whispered, doing so to help the newborns feel better. To convince them that everything would be alright.

But, in the back of his mind, Izaya knew that he was really trying to convince himself.


	3. Chapter 3

The first thing the raven did was clean up his apartment. He picked up all the trash and the empty bottles, cleaning the dirty dishes, and throwing out the expired food. All the while desperately trying to keep the babies calm.

For the duration of Izaya's purge, the babies remained relatively calm. A few times, they became fussy, but Izaya easily managed to calm them down by picking them up and rocking them gently. But, as he just finished cleaning up, the bigger of the babies burst into tears.

The baby's face scrunched up, his fists clenching tightly, and shrill cries escaping from those tiny lungs. The cries instantly stirred the other child, who started to cry as well. Izaya instantly felt panic explode through him.

He picked up the bigger of the two, hushing in the most gentle tone he could. "Hey, hey… Please calm down!" He begged in exhaustion, trying to rock the child back to sleep. It only seemed to irritate the baby further, their sobs becoming much more shrill.

Izaya bit his lip nervously, before deciding to push aside his dignity. He brought the baby closer, and smelled for a dirty diaper. He quickly moved the newborn back down with a gag. "Okay, I understand now," He declared.

After finding a tattered towel, he placed it over the kitchen counter. He brought over the newborns and the heavy bag, digging around until he found diapers. Then, he took several deep breaths. "Alright, you can do this Izaya," He told himself. "You've found against supernatural entities who can spawn swords, a diaper is nothing."

Despite his attempts to be brave, Izaya felt as though he emerged from the valley of darkness once he finally finished. He threw the two dirty diapers into the trash bag, intending to take it outside as soon as possible.

First, however, he took the two sniffling newborns to his room. Thinking it would be safer to leave them on something soft, he placed them on his futon with pillows around the edges. Once he was sure they'd be safe, he went back to the tiny living room. He took the bags of trash down to the big dumpster that the landlord had left in the middle of the tiny parking lot.

As he walked, he recognized that it probably shouldn't have taken him changing their diapers to find out what their genders were. _I'll look at their birth certificates later, but now I know that the smaller one is a boy and the bigger one is a girl._

As soon as he got near the building again, Izaya could hear the shrill crying once more. "Shit…" He cursed, quickly hurrying up the rickety stairs, and into his apartment once more. _Looks like birth certificates will have to wait._

When he got back to the bedroom, both the babies were sobbing violently again. "What now?!" Izaya demanded, quickly shoving items from the bag back out onto the floor, one of which was a container of baby formula.

 _Oh, they're probably hungry…_ He realized, and moved to open up the formula. To his surprise, the plastic covering was still over the baby formula. In an instant, his frustration turned over to Munkata. _Did she even feed them before she brought them here?!_

He quickly undid the plastic, grabbing the bottle nearby and heading to his stove. He got the bottles all done, taking them to the babies. He picked up the baby boy, making sure to support his head as he began to feed him the bottle. Almost instantly, the baby relaxed again, sucking on the bottle desperately.

Once the baby finished drinking, Izaya remembered what his mother used to do. So… Now I should burp them, right? He thought, and then began to gently pat on the back while supporting the baby. Thankfully, the baby burped after a few moments.

He then moved onto the girl, going through the same exact routine, but of course it couldn't end well. He heard a gargally burp, and then there was something wet against his back. The raven instantly cringed, a pained groan escaping him.

He quickly placed the newborn back down, yanking the shirt off and tossing it into the laundry basket that had a broken handle. When the raven turned back around, he saw that both the babies had their eyes open, looking towards their father.

Izaya felt giddy all of a sudden, but he didn't understand why. So, he simply knelt down next to the futon-turned-crib and spoke. "See? That's wasn't so bad, was it?"

The babies, of course, didn't respond. Izaya gave a tiny smirk, before going back to the bag, and pulling their birth papers out once more. Instead of focusing on the Munkata's name, however, he looked for his children's' names.

Turning his red eyes to the boy, he declared,"Orihara Yuuto… And…." He turned his eyes towards the baby girl. "Orihara Kana."

He lowered the papers, softly declaring,"Well, at least she did one thing right. Those names are perfect."

Two teeny, tiny smiles crawled up the little faces next to him; and for some reason, they made everything worth it.

* * *

The peace didn't last long. In the darkness of the night, both the children broke out into frantic cries again. It jerked Izaya from his uncomfortable sleep, quickly moving to their side.

"Hey, Hey," He quickly whispered, placing his hands onto their faces, thumbs rubbing against their cheeks. "Hey, what's wrong?"

Of course, the newborns couldn't explain why they were crying, and simply continued to. Izaya cringed, moving to check their diapers. "What's the matter? Your diapers aren't dirty.. What's wrong? Are you hungry?"

Knowing it was better to be safe than sorry, Izaya quickly headed to the kitchen. He went through the same routine as earlier. Before he could bring the bottles to the children, however, he heard a loud pounding on his front door.

"Hey asshole!" The voice yelled,"Shut those damn kids up!"

Through the thin walls, his anger was easy to hear. It seemed to only make their cries even more shrill. In return, this made the man only pound louder on the door.

Izaya suddenly felt irritation rise up in him, as he got to his feet and went to his front door. He opened up the door, and was met with the face of one of his shaggy looking neighbors glaring at him furiously.

"I'm sorry!" Izaya exclaimed, quickly trying to defuse the situation so he could get back to his kids. "I'm trying to calm them down but-"

"How am I supposed to get any sleep with them crying all the time?!" The man yelled, slamming his hand against the wall.

The irritation flooded forward in full force. "They're babies! They cry!" Izaya angrily snapped,"What did you expect?!"

"Maybe some fucking peace and quiet?!" The man practically spat in return. "Listen, dipshit, either you calm them down, or I'll shut them up for you!"

Izaya quickly slammed the door shut, an angry yell coming outside the door once more. He ran to the bedroom, grabbing both children, the bottles, and then went back to the door.

He kicked it open, walking past the angry man and down the stairs of the apartment. He crossed the street over to the empty lot next door. There, he sat on the rotten old bench, beginning to feed the newborns.

Izaya kept an eye on his door, noticing that the man loitered by it for a few minutes before stalking back to his own apartment. _You're lucky that I have two babies to hold, or I would smack that five o'clock shadow off your shaggy ass face._

A whimper caught his attention, causing him to turn back towards the scrunched face that belonged to Yuuto.

"Hey bud, it's alright," He quietly comforted, rocking both the children the best he could. "That mean man isn't going to hurt you, I'll make sure of it."

Yuuto's whimpers started to calm down, and Izaya felt a relieved smile climb up his face. He started feeding Kana, and continued,"You know, Yuuto, I think he's just jealous that he doesn't have anybody to take care of him, that he probably pushed away everyone close and ended up here."

The insult took a turn, and Izaya felt his heart twist. _Just like me…_ He realized, and cringed at the thought.

"S-still! He yelled at babies! Who does that?!" He forced out,"I'll tell you who: Jerks do that."

Both the newborns had their eyes open, staring at their father with rapt attention. Izaya, suddenly feeling a need to, kept talking,"A-and I guess I was a jerk too… But sometimes you have to be a jerk when someone else is."

 _Like Shizuo was when you were ruining his life!_ The voice snapped again, making the guilt in his mind grow.

"Sometimes.. You find out that you were actually the jerk.. And you want to say sorry.. But it's too late," The raven softly continued,"And then other things come along.. And you can't say sorry."

Izaya's eyes burned, and he forced himself to take a deep breath. "I can't go back and see Shizu-chan, I have you two to look after. But, if I ever see him again, I'll tell him that I'm sorry. It's the least I can do…"

The raven stopped himself, his own red eyes widening. _What did I just say?_ He wondered, turning his eyes back to the newborns. Kana stared at him a little longer, before closing her eyes and leaning closer against her father. Yuuto followed in suit, and the warm feeling within Izaya's chest exploded even bigger.

A smile rose on Izaya's face. "You two, even though you were crying so much.. You still somehow make me feel so much better."

Even though it had only been a single day, Izaya knew he would do anything for his little family.

* * *

A few weeks went by, and Izaya fell into a routine. Things got easier routine-wise, but it still remained just as difficult as before.

Every one to two hours the babies would need something. Food, diaper change, or just to be held, and then fall back asleep.

His neighbor continued to be an ass about the crying. He came over every single night to complain about the crying, and Izaya was getting more and more irritated with him as time went on. It was to the point that Izaya would simply pick up his children (along with whatever they needed) and go to the rotten bench anytime they started to cry at night.

The neighbor, of course, decided to make Izaya's life even more hellish. During the day, he would play loud music that sometimes even shook things in Izaya's apartment, and yell loudly. Then, he would have the audacity to yell at the babies for crying.

But, of course, as if that wasn't stressful enough, his resources began to dwindle. The only baby supplies he had was what Munkata left in the bag, and it was running out faster than he planned.

So, Izaya was forced to take a unplanned trip to the store. Since he didn't have a babysitter, and he sure as hell didn't trust his neighbor not to do anything, he took the babies with him.

He wandered through the large store, Kana asleep in the baby carrier attached to the trolley, while Yuuto clung to him. The raven was pretty sure it was quite the image to onlookers. A disheveled twenty four year old man with heavy bags under his eyes, wrinkled clothes, and two babies.

Izaya focused on the needs of the babies first, placing a box of diapers and baby formula into the trolley before heading over to get things for himself.

Unfortunately, Izaya was suddenly forced to face the realization of just how poor he was. Just before he got to the checkout line, he counted the cash he still had, and realized that he couldn't afford to buy everything.

A worried frown grew on his face, and he turned back down to the items in his cart. Instantly, he knew what he needed to do.

 _I can live without food for a few days, they can't._ With a defeated sigh, the raven went back around the store, dropping off everything he couldn't afford. In the end, he was left with the baby supplies, and a few cups of instant noodles.

When Izaya arrived home, he packed away the meager supplies, and sighed. The raven felt ashamed that he wasn't able to provide better. He looked down at the newborns, on the sorry excuse of a cot, and held their tiny hands.

"I'm sorry…" He whispered,"Even when I'm trying to do something good, I can't do it right. I'm so sorry…"

His hand started to shake, eyes beginning to blur, but he quickly wiped them away. "I-I'll find a way to provide for us, I'll find a job that won't get in the way of taking care of you. We'll be okay, I'll make sure we're okay."

 _Somehow.._

 _..._

 _Well… There is… One thing.._

* * *

With the babies resting in his room, Izaya started the the number in his contacts. One he hadn't touched in a long time. _Shiki.._

Taking a deep breath, Izaya pressed the green call button by his name, placing the phone to his ear. He listened to the long, torturous ringing that seemed to drag on for hours and hours…

Finally, there was a click. Someone picked up!

…

But they weren't talking.

It was complete and utter silence. It scared the raven, because Shiki was usually firm and feirce when it came to anything. The strange quiet responder finally gave Izaya enough fear. The raven slowly, hesitantly, called,"H-hello..?"

" _Izaya"_

It was the cool, calm voice of his ex-boss that responded. It was deep, and rough. Instantly, Izaya's heart stopped, eyes going wide, skin as pale as snow. That voice.. It wasn't Shiki's… It was… It was _him_.

It was Shizuo.

Izaya's vision began to fade in and out, hand trembling violent, heart pounding in fear. But the man on the other end was silent… Until he said one, final word.

" _Goodbye."_

Memories exploded in front of the raven's eyes. Shizuo slamming him through the window, their battle surrounded by all those Saika, the flash, his broken arms, the knife, the gun…

" _Goodbye."_

All because of him, his stupid obsession with humans, his stupid informant broking. Shizuo was right, he deserved it all. Izaya was the monster, and now he knew.. He was going to come, he was going to kill Izaya. He was going to die, and it was all his fault.

"It's all my fault.. It's all my fault.."

" _ **GOODBYE."**_

"NO!"

A bloodcurdling scream ripped through Izaya's chest, his phone being thrown straight across the tiny room. His hands then clutched at his chest, heaving frantic breaths. It burned as the tears fell from his eyes, desperately trying to stop himself from falling into the depths of unconciousness.

"I-I c-can't! I _can't!_ " He sobbed, grabbing at his hair this time. "Never again! Never again! I'm not a monster! I'm not! I'm sorry! I'm sorry!"

Izaya cumbled to the ground, completely defeated. It felt as if all his life force had been completely diminished. Those memories were still fresh in his mind, stabbing at his brittle heart, breaking it even more than it already was.

"Hello? Hello?"

The raven lurched back into a sitting position, red rimmed eyes snapping towards the phone still alight on the ground. It was Shiki… It was his voice, but all it filled the raven with was disgust and hatred.

No, he didn't want to go back. He couldn't go back to his old, disgusting ways. If the raven went back, he found turn into a monster all over again. He couldn't let that happen, not when he was still learning what love is, not when he had his little ones. They needed him, they were the only ones he had, they were all that mattered.

A resolve suddenly grabbed Izaya's muscles, helping him back to his feet and over to the now-cracked screen of his mobile device.

"Is this some kind of prank?!" Shiki's annoyed voice demanded. The raven didn't even bother trying to respond, he had nothing to say.

Without hesitation, he pressed the red button, blocking, and deleting his ex-boss' number, cutting off his last contact to Ikebukuro. To his old life.

Never again.

* * *

About two weeks later, Izaya was no closer to success. He'd been searching all over as best he could with his crappy phone and two newborns, but he couldn't seem to find a job that would work. They didn't provide daycare, or demanded hours that wouldn't work at all for the raven.

Izaya had been sitting on his couch, flicking through several jobs while trying to find one that worked for single parents (and not finding any good results) when the screaming started.

He jumped, turning towards where he heard the noise coming from. The yelling continued, along with the sound of shattering glass.

The raven groaned, rubbing at his face. _Of course.. Why do they have to argue now!? I just put Yuuto and Kana down for-_

As if they knew their father was thinking of them, the tiny cries reached his ears. Panic jolted through Izaya. _If they stop arguing and he hears them crying, it's not going to be pretty._

He quickly grabbed a blanket, two pacifiers, and went to his bedroom. Picking up the sobbing children, he hurried away from the apartment building as fast as he could.

Of course, the raven was unable to hide his curiosity for long. He turned back towards the building just in time to hear someone screech "Don't you fucking dare!" and see a chair go flying out of their apartment door.

Izaya rolled his eyes, turning them back down to the sniffling babies. "You see? That's what happens when you have no anger management, and when you hang out with the wrong people." He taught the one month olds.

The teary eyes stared at him intently, and the small family jumped once more as the screeching continued.

"Well, it doesn't sound like they're going to stop for a while…" He gently declared,"So, we're gonna go to the park! A nice outing, lots of fresh air!"

Ignoring the shattering of innocent furniture behind him, Izaya quickly trekked further into the city of Osaka; towards Nagai park.

* * *

The trees were in full bloom, cherry blossoms floating through the air like pink confetti. There were many people around, enjoying their day near the nature they were proud to have.

Izaya found himself unable to stop the smile from climbing up his face as he watched the two infants stared up at the cherry blossoms. "Beautiful, aren't they?" He softly questioned.

His little ones continued to stare at the trees in awe. Once he found an empty spot in the grass, he placed the blanket down and settled down with the twins.

The raven placed them down on their backs, letting them stare up at the cherry trees with wonder. Such a sight filled him with sadness once more. _Kana and Yuuto would probably love having a mobile over their crib… Or a crib.. But I can't afford any of that_.

The guilt the overflowed him was enough do drown a city. _I can't afford it because of my stupid choices. I can't give them anything they should have.._

Izaya felt his eyes burning, and quickly went to wipe the tears away. He didn't want to cry when he was trying to make his kids feel better, the little ones always seemed to know if he was upset.

Just as he calmed himself down, another small sniffling caught his ears. His red eyes looked towards his two infants, but they still were as calm as can be still, staring at the pink trees.

The raven looked back up, his curiosity sending the inquisitive eyes to search the crowds. Through all the talking groups, he was able to see a small child roaming through the groups.

The child's eyes were covered in unshed tears as he scurried past people, frantically looking for something.. Or someone.

Izaya had observed humans long enough to know what was going through the child's head. _Lost, confused, scared._

The raven didn't really understand what pushed him to do what he did next. He stood, holding his own little ones, and went over to the small child. His teary brown eyes turned up to the raven, sniffling a small bit.

Izaya gave a reassuring smile, kneeling down to the child's height. "Are you alright?" He asked, ignoring the voice in his head yelling at him for letting his facade down. It had been gone for a long time.

The brown haired child sniffled again, eyes growing moist once more as he, shook his head. "M'lost… I can't.. M'lost!" He frantically exclaimed, tears falling like waterfalls.

The raven quickly switched to the voice he used when his own infants were crying. "Hey, hey," He softly whispered,"It's gonna be alright. I'll help you."

"Y-you will?" The child asked in shock.

"Yes I am," Izaya answered,"But I'll need you to help me too. Can you tell me where we need to go?"

The child quickly nodded. "L-little Ducklings Daycare!" He exclaimed,"We were on a trip! I got lost!"

"Well, then that's where we'll go!" Izaya replied cheerfully,"I'm sure they're looking for you as we speak! So, let's go sit at my blanket, I'll call them to let them know."

The child's brown eyes sparkled with hope, nodding feverishly. The quartet went back to Izaya's spot and he set the babies down, pulling his phone out to search for the daycare the child mentioned.

As he typed, the much calmer little boy hummed a bit, and turned towards him. "My name's Suzuki Kaito," He mentioned.

Izaya turned his red eyes towards him for a moment, softly replying,"My name is Orihara Izaya."

Kaito's face scrunched up. "That's a weird name," He innocently returned, making the raven arch his eyebrow towards him.

"Well, I don't know about weird. I'd say that it's… Eccentric!" Izaya cheerfully replied, causing Kaito to give him a confused look, muttering the word 'eccentric' to himself.

Izaya released a happy noise, finding the number for the daycare. He called it, making sure to put on speaker for the child. Almost instantly, it went to voicemail. Kaito whimpered worriedly, turning his brown eyes back up to the raven.

"What we gonna do?" He questioned.

Izaya tried to give a reassuring smile, but he wasn't used to giving or getting those. Although that probably didn't help the child, Izaya knew what might. "Well, if they won't come to us. We'll go to them!" He declared.

He went back to the search page, typing in the daycare's address and putting on his directions. The voice on his phone quickly answered,"Starting route to Little Ducklings Daycare."

Kaito's eyes widened, and Izaya held out the phone. "I have to hold my babies, so I need you to be super duper brave and take the lead, okay?" He asked.

"Okay! I'm the leader!" The child exclaimed excitedly, grabbing the raven's phone and stomping forward proudly. Izaya, knowledgeable of the dangerous people that lurked in Osaka, was quick to follow.

The first few times the phone would order them to go left or right, Kaito turned to him in confusion. Izaya would then direct him where to go, and the child would take off once more. It took about twenty minutes, but they made it.

The daycare was rainbow colored, with pictures of ducklings on the sign. Kaito squealed in excitement, dashing over to the door. He knocked on it frantically.

"We're closed!" A short, angry voice yelled.

Kaito frowned, knocking again. This time, they weren't even graced with a response. The child looked towards Izaya desperately, so the raven moved closer to the door. "Excuse me? I have-"

The door was suddenly thrown open, and the raven was met with the sight of a short, angry old woman. "I SAID WE'RE-" She then froze, steel grey eyes turning to the small child in front of her. "KAITO!"

She knelt down, scooping up the child and hugging him tight. "Oh, darling! I was so worried! We've been looking everywhere for you! Where did you go?!"

"M'sorry!" Kaito cried,"I got lost! W-when I turned around, sensei was gone! But then Mr. Izaya helped me get here! I was the leader!"

The woman's eyes widened behind her glasses, turning to look over at the raven. Her eyes seemed to scan him up and down, landing on Yuuto and Kana momentarily. "You helped him get back here?" She questioned,"Even when you had those two to worry about?"

Izaya tried his best to shrug without dropping the infants. "I know what it's like to worry about my kids, it was the least I could do," He responded.

Her eyes softened, staring at Izaya with what seemed like pity. Izaya couldn't blame her, it was obvious how stressed out he was. The woman turned, putting Kaito down. "Head on inside, Kaito, have one of the teachers call your mother, alright?"

"Okay!" The child chirped, quickly shoving Izaya's phone back in the raven's hand. "Bye Mr. Izaya!"

"Bye Kaito," The raven calmly replied.

Once the door had shut, the old woman turned back to Izaya. "Thank you so much, young man," She graciously declared,"I don't know what we would have done if you hadn't found him. This city is so big, we were just about to call the police!"

"I'm just doing what any parent would have done," Izaya replied smoothly.

"Even so, to take the time even when you have your own little ones… How selfless of you!" She praised, causing Izaya to halt in surprise as red crawled up his cheeks. He'd never been called that word.

The children in his arms suddenly began to move around, angry whimpers coming from their mouths. Izaya quickly turned to her and softly answered,"W-well.. Um. I should go now. They're getting fussy."

Just as he turned around, the woman softly said,"You know… We're hiring. We offer childcare too, since we're a daycare. After the service you just did for me, I think your interview might be very easy."

By the time the raven looked back to where she had been, the door was swinging shut. Part of him was insulted that she was able to so easily guess that he was unemployed, while another part of him was shocked that she so readily offered him a job.

A small glimmer of hope appeared in Izaya's mind. Maybe he would be able to pay rent and buy food, maybe he would be able to get his children the things they deserved. Maybe…

Maybe everything was going to be okay.

* * *

 _I'm not so sure about this anymore…_

It took less than a week for him to get the job, but he suspected that the old woman, Kamizuka Ahiru, had a lot to do with that. Now, Izaya was standing next to Ahiru, clad in a blue apron, staring at the group of rambunctious children.

He felt a little overwhelmed, especially since his own little ones had been taken to the infant room. It was the first time they had been apart since Mukata brought them. I hope they're doing okay without me.

Ahiru suddenly clapped her hands together, getting the attention of the little ones. "Alright everybody! We have a new helper joining us! His name is Orihara Izaya, I hope you all behave for him!" She explained.

The children stared at Izaya silently, and the raven felt extremely nervous. _What if they don't like me? What if I end up getting fired? I can't afford to lose this job-_

A small hand suddenly made contact with his own. He turned his eyes down, catching sight of a messy blonde haired girl. She smiled excitedly, and began to tug on his hand even more. "Come paint with me Izaya-kun!" She exclaimed.

As soon as the one brave child spoke to him, the chatter returned. Izaya gave a relieved smile, nodding happily. "I'd love to," He answered softly.

The child's face lit up even more, and she quickly dragged Izaya away. He looked back at Ahiru, who gave the raven a gentle nod, and moved to help another worker.

Izaya turned back to the child, who was now excitedly plastering paint all over a canvas while chatting excitedly to him. A few others soon joined them, and the raven found himself releasing a big sigh, relaxing for the first time in months.

For the first time in a while, Izaya knew that they were going to be okay.


	4. Chapter 4

Izaya had never been so thankful to get a paycheck before.

The happiness and relief of having money to pay for rent and buy food completely overflowed his heart and instincts, but he managed to stop himself from running into the store and blowing all the cash at once.

Izaya reminded himself of his situation once more. He wasn't a rich and powerful informant broker anymore, he was a single parent who who had been disowned by the only family he had, and only had a simple job at a daycare. He could no longer ignore consequences, because this time around there would be some.

So, after the twins were put to sleep, he saw down and wrote out a budget for himself and his small family. He decided what he could spend on food, clothes, and baby essentials. He also set a little aside as savings in case of emergencies; an idea that came to him after hearing his neighbor have another screaming match with someone earlier in the day.

Finally, he was able to afford a crib for his little ones. He bought them new pacifiers and a few sets of clothing, and even some toys. When it came time to get himself some food, he realized that he'd spent most of it on food and clothes for the twins.

But Izaya couldn't bring himself to switch items out of his cart, the children deserved to feel comfortable and happy. Izaya could survive until his next check. He grabbed the cheapest options for himself. The health of his babies was more important.

The incident brought up another realization for Izaya: he wouldn't be able to take care of his kids as they grew up if he stayed at the daycare. Sure, it was helpful now that they were infants… But what would he do when they needed to go to middle school? High school? And Izaya himself sure as hell didn't want to stay in the shoddy apartment he had, with a neighbor that would probably kill him and the kids if he knew he would get away with it.

The raven knew he had to change things… But the only way to do that was to make more money. He had to get a second job if he was going to make things work.

* * *

"No you are NOT!"

Ahiru and Izaya sat across from each other, the woman's arms crossed and eyes narrowed as she stared Izaya down. The raven was pale and shaking, desperate to make her understand his point.

"But- But I won't be able to take care of them when they get older if I don't have enough income to afford it!" Izaya frantically said,"I have to get another job!"

The woman pointed at him and firmly said,"Izaya that is not happening! You do realize that if you are working two jobs, most likely every single day by the way, you'd barely even be able to be with your kids, let alone take care of them _or_ yourself!"

Izaya opened his mouth to argue back… But he found he had nothing to say. The raven knew that she was right, if he tried to handle raising kids and two jobs, the only thing he would succeed in doing was running himself into the ground.

He frowned, leaning forward in his chair, and burying his face in his hands. "What am I going to do?" He croaked, feeling wet tears hit his palms.

Ahiru didn't respond at first, she simply looked at the depressed man with her own sadness. She thought for a moment, then calmly asked,"Izaya, did you go to college?"

Izaya calmed his tears and rubbed his eyes before he replied,"I did… But I only have a bachelor's degree and… Well, I went straight into not very legal types of jobs… When I was trying to find a job before you hired me, nobody was very impressed..."

The older woman didn't respond to his saddened words. Instead, she grabbed a piece of paper and began scribbling some things down. She placed her pen down with a satisfied noise, and slid it over to Izaya.

The raven grabbed it by the edge, looking at what it had written. It was a hastily scribbled list of what looked like names and addresses that were located around the daycare and Izaya's apartment complex. "What is this for?" He asked, not completely understanding.

"These are a list of Universities that are taking admissions right now. You're going to find a University and start taking classes," Ahiru declared,"And when you do, I'll help you pay for whatever you can't afford and move your hours to accommodate that, okay?"

Izaya couldn't believe what he was hearing, she was really willing to help him this much? He didn't know if he would ever be able to repay her kindness, the kindness he didn't deserve. All he could do was frantically wipe his eyes of the tears that were threatening to return and whisper,"Thank you… You have no clue how much this means to me."

To his surprise, Ahiru smiled. "I understand much more than you think, Izaya," She declared,"I was in the same situation as you were a long time ago, and it was only thanks to the kindness of others that I was able to get to where I am today. So don't thank me, simply pay it forward."

When he returned home that day, he looked over the list with hope and courage. Yes, Ahiru was right. He was going to go back to college, he was going to become so qualified that nobody would dare deny him a job!

Then, he would be able to provide for his kids no matter what they needed. He would be the parent that they deserved, and the one he never had.

He looked down at the crib where his two babies were, holding each other's hands and looking just as relaxed as Izaya felt.

The raven reached down, gently running his thumb across their cheeks and letting his heart swell with love when they leaned into the touch. "Don't worry, you two," He whispered,"I'll work hard and make sure that I can take care of you both no matter what."

* * *

Three Years Later

* * *

Life had become rather hectic for Izaya, so much so that sometimes he wanted to just give up completely; He kept going, though, because he knew Kana and Yuuto needed him to.

His classes were hard work, but he managed to get moved into higher courses pretty quickly and skip a lot of the beginning courses. But of course, the downside of that was a bigger workload. He often had to stay up late in order to get through all the homework.

Working at the daycare was still fun, unless he had to deal with the angry customers. Luckily, Ahiru had a spine of steel and didn't take kindly to her employees being treated badly and always got the last laugh when it came to arguments.

And his apartment… It was just hell. That same neighbor that yelled at Kana and Yuuto for crying when they were newborns didn't take kindly to anything the kids were doing. Izaya remembered several terrifying instances of that man's violent behavior.

* * *

The first time it genuinely scared Izaya was when the twins were five months old. Yuuto and Kana had been teething, so they were up late crying quite a bit. Kana was a little easier to calm down, but Yuuto...

Izaya had just entered into his advanced classes and was already tired from the workload, but he set everything aside to take them into his arms and try to help them calm down.

"It's okay, it's okay," He whispered quietly, rubbing his finger over his son's gums to try and calm him down. But Yuuto just kept on crying.

Then all of a sudden, there was a bang on the door. Izaya jumped, his heart rate skyrocketing. Yuuto began to cry even louder, obviously the noise panicked him too.

The raven knew very well who was banging on his door, so he reluctantly put Yuuto back in the crib and shut the door before going to his front door. He took a deep breath and waited for the banging to cease before he opened the door the smallest bit.

It was the same man as always, his beady black eyes were bloodshot and seemed to bore into Izaya's soul. His hair was a tangled mess, and he was wearing a torn dress shirt. His arm was raised to bang on the door again, but he didn't lower it when he saw Izaya. In fact, he seemed to get angrier.

"How many times have I told you to shut those brats up!?" He snarled.

Izaya frowned, and quickly shot back. "And how many times have I said that they're babies and that's what babies do?"

The man growled, revealing yellow teeth underneath his cracked lips. "You talk a lot of shit for a scrawny rat," He spat,"If you don't shut them up, I'll do it myself and then you'll be sorry for mouthing off."

He then kicked the door for good measure and then stormed away. Izaya quickly shut the door, his face pale and hands shaking. Even though it could have been empty words, Izaya was still scared of the man.

He looked around and then caught sight of his old couch; He quickly moved it in front of his front door for extra safety, and hurried back to his babies.

Even though Kana had just calmed down, Izaya still picked them both up and held them close to his chest, sitting in the corner furthest from the door.

"I'm sorry you guys…" He whispered,"It's all my fault that we're here… I promise, we'll get out of this place soon. We'll be safe soon…"

* * *

There were still good times, although they were few and far between. But there were a few Izaya would remember forever, like when Kana and Yuuto took their first steps and especially when they said their first words.

It was when the little ones were about a year old, so they were causing quite a bit of trouble. They now toddled all around the apartment, so Izaya had to skip out on some meals to baby proof.

They also babbled a lot to each other and to Izaya, who made sure to respond as though it was an actual conversation. There hadn't been any words… Until one day.

Izaya's finals were in the morning, so he hadn't gotten to the daycare until the afternoon. By the time he headed there, he was exhausted and stressed.

He was terrified that he had failed his finals, that he would be pushed back down into the normal classes and have to spend more time and money than he could afford. He didn't care if Ahiru said she could afford the extra classes, he didn't want her to waste her money on him.

All the emotions he was feeling melted away when he walked inside the door. As he was getting on his apron, he heard squeals of excitement that caught his eye.

He then saw his two little ones toddling towards him as fast as he could, they had both already grown so much. Kana's black hair now reached her chin and was pretty untamable, and Yuuto's hair was a dark brown and matched Izaya's straight hair more. Their read eyes gleamed with excitement.

Then, when Kana finally reached his side, she raised her hands up and yelled,"Daddy!"

Izaya felt his heart stop, and then a grin climbed up his face. "Kana! Your first word!" He exclaimed, picking her up from underneath her arms and raising her high in the air. "My little girl's first words!"

He twirled her around, gaining a peal of giggles from her, and hugged her tightly. Then, he felt a tugging on his pant leg. Little Yuuto was looking at him frantically and excitedly, and raised his own arms up as well.

Izaya smiled, and transferred Kana to one arm so he could life Yuuto up with the other one. "Do you have anything to say, Yuuto?" The raven asked curiously.

Yuuto stared at him blankly for several seconds, and then as seriously as a one year old could muster, declared,"Banana."

Izaya let out a little snort before he burst out laughing, hugging the two close and feeling their little arms return the favor. "I love you guys," He whispered for only them to hear.

Any stress and sadness he had been feeling was completely melted away, all thanks to his little ones.

* * *

The next two years were still rough. As the kids grew more curious, Izaya had to find ways to keep them quieter lest they face the wrath of their hateful neighbor.

Even though he tried his best, Izaya still wasn't able to protect them from seeing or hearing the neighbors arguing, screaming, the occasional gunshots, and the slamming at their front door.

Of course, as the twins grew up there were many days where Izaya had to skip out on eating to make sure they could have what they needed. Whether that be high chairs to their first toddler beds, he found a way.

But he didn't let the fear or worry of money stop him. Instead, he made sure they were outside of the apartment spending time as a family more often and kept up with his schoolwork in his spare time.

Then finally, after nearly three and a half years, Izaya made it, he got a master's degree. Even better, he was able to land a job almost right away! He still was replaying the memory in his head, completely in awe.

* * *

It had been after the graduation ceremony, in front of the university. While many of the other graduates were hanging out with their parents and siblings, Izaya was off on his own with his two little ones.

"The tree is pink!" Kana excitedly said, pointing up at the many beautiful trees that surrounded the university.

Izaya smiled, reaching up and pulling off a few of the lower cherry blossoms. "They are!" He agreed, kneeling down to her level. "Here you go, Kana."

Kana's gasped in shock, staring at the little flower with a dropped jaw. She then squealed happily and continued to stare at it.

Izaya then turned to his son and handed him one too, smiling. The little boy smiled, and quickly put it in his hair. "Is it pretty?" He asked.

"Yes it is, and so are you," Izaya said, pulling both Kana and Yuuto in a hug. "Both of you."

The two hugged him back for a few moments before Kana wiggled out of his grasp and then grabbed some of the cherry blossoms from the grass. She then began to put them in Izaya's hair.

"Daddy's gonna look pretty too!" She declared. Yuuto then gasped, realizing what his sister was doing and then began grabbing some flowers as well and helping her place flowers in Izaya's hair.

Izaya, in return, began to placing flowers in their hair as well. He even found himself giggling along with him.

"Oh, so these are the little ones I've been heard so much about," A familiar voice said, making Izaya jump.

He looked behind him and realized exactly who it was. _My biology professor!_ He realized, quickly getting to his feet and turning around. Kana and Yuuto quickly hid behind him, shyly looking at the teacher from around Izaya's legs.

"Hello Mr. Yamaguchi, it's nice to see you," Izaya nervously said.

The older man simply chuckled at the kids, and turned his caramel colored eyes back up to Izaya. "I'm happy that you're graduating, Izaya, you were by far the hardest worker in my class," He said.

Izaya smiled at the praise, and placed his hands on his kids' heads. "Thank you, sir, but I'm just happy that I'll be able to provide for my kids better," He replied.

"With your work ethic, I have no doubt in that," The Professor praised,"Have you found a job yet? I know the hunt can be difficult."

Izaya resisted the urge to groan in agreement and answered,"I've been looking around and found a few places. Just waiting for responses now."

"Well, that's good! I know you'll get hired in no time!" Yamaguchi cheerfully said, and then casually added,"You know, I heard that the biology professor at Osaka University is looking for a new associate professor…"

Izaya frowned in confusion, looking at the older man. "But… That's you?" He asked, and Yamaguchi's smile got wider in return. Izaya then gasped, catching on. "Oh…."

Yamaguchi laughed at his former student's realization and declared,"I'll be looking for your resume on my desk."

* * *

The raven couldn't believe his luck, such a job would let him not only support his kids but also be able to spend time with him.

Sure enough, he took his resume to his old professor and less than a week later he found out that he got the job.

As soon as Ahiru heard, she gave him a huge hug, took Kana and Yuuto, and then ordered him to go out and celebrate.

At first, Izaya's celebration was just going to be chilling in his apartment with a container of ice cream but then his coworkers heard Ahiru speaking to him and demanded that they celebrate with him.

They ended up going to a karaoke bar, where several people sang, drank, and they simply had a blast.

Izaya himself didn't need a drink to make the night better, he simply enjoyed the time he was able to spend with people he could call friends… That was something he hadn't been able to do for a while.

Near the end of the night, the few coworkers that were still sober sat down and helped Izaya look around for some apartments for rent in the safer parts of the city. He even narrowed down which ones that not only looked the best to him, but also had the best location. He was already growing excited to move.

Perhaps it was the openness of the night that made him admit to his friends that his complex was a less than desirable place and that the person he hesitated to call a 'neighbor' was also not the most desirable person either.

Izaya was so used to it that he simply laughed as he recalled some of the events to them, but the others looked worried.

"I think you should find a new apartment as soon as possible, Izaya," One of them, an older girl named Ayame, said,"That sounds really dangerous."

The others nodded in agreement, and Izaya felt a bit of his fear rise up. "I know…" He admitted,"As soon as I get my first paycheck from my new job, we're moving. That's right around when my lease should end."

The others looked very relieved at his statement. Then another one of them, Akihito if Izaya remembered correctly, added,"But you'd still better visit, okay Izaya? It won't feel the same without you!"

Izaya grinned, feeling the warmth in his heart all over again. He nodded as he replied,"Of course I'll visit! As much as possible! After all, I still want Kana and Yuuto to be there until they start school."

The small group of coworkers looked very excited about the prospect of Izaya still being around, and Izaya himself was very happy that they still wanted him around.

A little while later they left, and Izaya decided that he would go back to his apartment and get changed before he picked up his three year olds so that they could have a family outing.

"Make sure to text me when you get back, okay?" Akihito asked him,"I'll be at the daycare so I'll be able to let Ahiru know that you made it home safe and you are on your way."

Izaya nodded, and then waved goodbye as he headed back home. For the first time in a long time, he felt happy and free. He didn't think anything could ruin this day for him.

* * *

But when he got back to the rotting complex, Izaya got a strange feeling… As if something was wrong.

He stopped at the edge of the stairs, listening in for any noises that would warn him of danger… But he didn't hear anything.

With a frown on his face, Izaya slowly pulled out his phone and started to creep up the stairs. Every time they creaked (which was often) he jumped and looked around before he continued further.

When he made it to his apartment door, he let out a frantic gasp. His door was wide open, and splintered in the middle. _Someone robbed me!?_

He quickly dialed the police, and walked into the apartment. Things were torn apart, the window was shattered, his couch was in shreds, some of the walls had holes in them. A few of his more valuable items, like the television, were shattered.

The raven then heard a click on he end of his phone. "What's your emergency?" A voice asked.

"Um… I was robbed, all my stuff has been destroyed, I live in apartment 2B of the complex by the-" Izaya began, but cut himself off when he saw movement from the tiny hallway.

Then, emerging from the twins' room was his neighbor. Izaya's eyes widened in shock, all his fear returning at once. _Those threats weren't empty…_ The raven realized.

"Where are they…" The man slurred,"I'll kill em… I'll shut them up! I'll shut them up forever!"

 _Kana and Yuuto! He's after them!_ Izaya realized, his eyes moving to look towards the door. _I need to get put before he sees me!_

Before he raven could make a move, the man whipped around. His pupils were huge, and something was gleaming in his hand…. It was a gun.

Izaya could feel his heart pounding against his chest. Images of Varona and Shizuo flashing in front of his eyes as his chest heaved, and the phone slipped from his grasp, clattering to the floor.

"You…" The man snarled,"You fucking punk! You never shut up! You never listened to me! Now… Now you're gonna pay!"

He charged forward, and Izaya let out a cry of terror. The raven couldn't get to the door, that would involve running right at the maniac. Instead, he grabbed the metal lamp that had been left rather untouched and threw it as hard as he could at the man.

He heard a thunk and a cry of pain, and saw the man crash to the ground. _My phone! I have to let them know!_ Izaya frantically thought, running towards it only for a strong grasp to wrap around his leg and knock him to the ground.

The raven cried out in panic, he could feel the jagged nails on the man's hand digging into his skin. He quickly twisted around and aimed his free foot at the man's face, pulled back, and slammed it right into the middle as hard as he could.

The man yelled in pain again, and his grip loosened the slightest bit; This gave Izaya the chance to rip his leg out of the man's grasp.

Izaya took the opportunity scramble to his feet, grab his phone, and run out the door and down the stairs. "Please help!" He cried,"He's got a gun! The apartment complex is-" A sudden, loud bang made his ears ring. Everything faded away and went numb for several seconds…

The next thing Izaya knew, he was on the ground. He heard sirens and frantic voices, but everything sounded like it was underwater. On the concrete by him, he saw something red spreading across the ground. _Blood? Why am I bleeding?_

He had no time to figure out for sure, because his view was obstructed when someone's face moved in front of him. Their face was completely blurry, he couldn't make out a single feature. _Why are they so fuzzy?_ He wondered. _And why am I so tired?_

"Sir! Please stay awake! Don't close your eyes!" A firm voice yelled, but Izaya found that he couldn't listen to their demands. He was just… So tired… He needed to rest. He could stay awake later, he just needed to sleep for a little while…

Just for a little while…


	5. Chapter 5

The next time Izaya woke up, things were quiet. He felt groggy and sore, every muscle was screaming but he felt strangely numb at the exact same time.

For a few minutes, he felt like he was in a limbo. There was a beeping next to him, but it sounded like he was underwater. His vision was so blurry that he couldn't make out anything, all he saw was white, white, white.

 _What… What happened…?_ He wondered, his fingers curling against the rough fabric underneath him. He forced his heavy eyelids open and shut, trying to clear his vision of the smudge that seemed to be blocking it.

The white slowly began to form actual things; He saw a window next to him with the pale curtains slightly parted, letting a little light into his room. He saw the white walls and realized where he was.

Looking next to him, he saw that there was a heart monitor next to him. On his pale arm was the little white patch that connected him to an IV. _I'm in the hospital…_ He realized.

Izaya then forced his head to turn to the right, and saw a small table nearby with several flower vases placed on it… And two very familiar animals.

The raven's eyes widened the slightest bit. It was a Flaaffy and an Buizel plush, he had gotten them for Kana and Yuuto when they were two.

 _Why are those here?_ He curiously queried. He didn't have to wonder for long, as it seemed that those plushies were what opened the floodgates. Everything rushed back to him at once.

His neighbor… In his home… The fighting… The bang… The blood! Oh god, the blood! Kana and Yuuto! What if he got them?! What if he killed them!?

Izaya's chest seized as he gulped in as much breath as he could, sending a spasm of pain through his body. The beeping got faster, but Izaya didn't notice. He was thinking about the twins, his kids. Where were they?! Where were they?!

The door to his room slid open and a nurse rushed in. She quickly noticed what was happening and hurried to his side, worry displayed across her face.

"Sir, it's okay. You're safe, you're in the hospital," She calmly said,"There's nobody here who wants to hurt you."

Her gentle tone broke through his panic a bit, he remembered the sirens… He remembered calling the cops. _So they probably caught him… He isn't here_. Izaya still wasn't completely calm.

"K-K-Kana… Y-Yuuto…" He ground out, his throat as dry as the Sahara Desert and as rough as sandpaper. He winced with every sound that he tried to make, but he still forced himself to talk; He had to know, he _needed_ to know.

The nurse smiled kindly at him, giving a curious look. "Kana and Yuuto, those are your children, right?" She asked, gaining the tiniest incline of the raven's head in return and an eager look from his ruby eyes.

She smiled wider, and explained,"Your little ones are alright. An older woman has been keeping an eye on them while you've been here… I believe her name was Ahiru? She's visited you four times already, and she brought those stuffies with her. She said Kana and Yuuto asked her to give them to you, to help you feel better."

Izaya looked back at the stuffies and found that feelings of love and happiness smothered the panic away. _They're okay, they're worried about me, and Ahiru is taking care of them…_ He thought, relieved. _Everyone is okay..._

The heart monitor had returned to a calm, gentle beeping and the nurse seemed just as relieved as him. She placed her clipboard on the table next to him and calmly said,"Since this is the first time you've woken up, I'm going to do your examination okay?"

Izaya didn't really have a choice, so he let her check what she needed to. It only took a couple minutes, and it help Izaya realize that the main soreness he was feeling was around his stomach. As she was writing down something on her clipboard, he blearily said,"I got shot…"

"You did," The nurse calmly agreed,"You were shot in the abdomen, and you were very very lucky. The ambulance brought you here just in time."

She undid his hospital gown down to his waist, revealing the bandages wrapped around his lower body. Izaya noticed that it seemed pretty high despite the fact he was shot in only once place.

As she began to undo his bandages, he saw that on his right side was a wound much bigger than he had thought. "Why is…" He croaked out, his voice catching before he could continue.

The nurse seemed to understand, as she grew a little pained. "You didn't get out completely unscathed, I'm afraid," She admitted,"The bullet badly grazed and damaged your right kidney too much, and the doctor was forced to remove it. But don't worry! One kidney works just as good as one!"

Izaya felt a little sick to his stomach, he didn't know how he felt about hearing that. But, he felt a little relieved that nothing worse happened.

"You've been unconscious for about two days, but that rest is good," The nurse promised,"The more rest you get, the sooner you'll get to go home."

 _Home…_ The word made him scared and angry. That shabby apartment wasn't his home, it was a four year long nightmare where he ended up getting shot. It was everything _but_ a home.

He didn't want to go back… But where else could he go? Since he had gotten paid, he had found some new apartments, but he'd never put down a deposit. Was he just supposed to go back to that pit of bad memories until he could manage to find a new place?

Izaya let out a resigned sigh and continued listening to the nurse as he became overcome with saddened thoughts. _I don't think I can do much of anything else…_

The nurse finished her examinations, and Izaya started to feel drowsy again. She noticed right away, of course, and softly said,"It's okay to rest again. I'll wake you up when it's time to eat."

The raven nodded the slightest bit, a blush coming up his cheeks as he gathered his courage. Before she could leave, he reached his shaky arm toward the table. "Please… Can I have those?" He quietly asked, looking at the stuffed animals.

The young woman didn't even hesitate, she quickly grabbed the stuffed dolls placed them on Izaya's side.

"I'll be back in a bit," She said again, and then left the room while quietly sliding the door shut behind her.

Izaya pulled those stuffed animals closer, already feeling more at ease when he was holding them. Despite his drowsiness, for a while he simply sat there and took some time to think.

 _My kids will miss these if they're gone for too long…. And they must be missing me if they were willing to give away their studies..._ He mentioned to himself, a soft smile coming onto his face. _I guess I should get better as fast as I can, that way we can all be together again._

With that positive thought, Izaya allowed himself to fall back into a deep sleep.

* * *

It was a while before Izaya was able to leave the hospital, he lost count. The time seemed to drag on so long as he went through the physical therapy and recovery.

As soon as he was able to walk again, he went to the restroom in his room and looked at the scar on his body. There were still stitches where the doctor did the surgery, but also a large wound where the bullet had entered and exited. It was going to scar…

His hand unconsciously went to touch the other scar on his body; The place where _her_ knife had been… When he'd nearly gotten shot… Now he had both.

Those days were peppered with visits from Ahiru, who revealed that she had taken Kana and Yuuto into her new all-day program as she called it. The kids were, thankfully, fine. But Izaya still wanted to be with them.

The older woman once again proved how much of a godsend she was, as she showed up with her laptop. They spent the whole visiting time searching at nearby open apartments so that Izaya and his little family never had to go back to that hellish place.

It took them a couple of days, but they finally found one. It was near the college Izaya was going to teach at, and also near the elementary school and a kindergarten. He knew that was the one, that was where he wanted to live.

His old landlord was easy when it came to leaving. He didn't really care that Izaya didn't want to come back, especially when Izaya said he could keep the deposit. They keys were in the flat, there was no reason for him to demand for Izaya to come back.

The raven felt elated… He felt free. He wasn't in that disgusting place anymore. He had survived, and now he could move on to someplace better.

* * *

Kana didn't feel happy. Usually, she was excited to be with her brother at the daycare. But it had been so long… She missed her dad.

Ahiru told her and Yuuto that Daddy had gotten really hurt, and so he needed to get better before they could all go home.

After a couple of days, she got really sad. They both did. What if daddy never came back? What would they do without him? One of the meaner kids said that they would be put in an orphanage… Was that true?

The little girl didn't know what to think or what to do, all she really knew is that she wanted to go home.

After what felt like forever and ever, it finally happened. Kana and her brother had been sadly placing some blocks now, not really making anything out of them.

Some of the other parents started to come and get their kids, the two Orihara children didn't even bother to turn and look for their father. They simply kept 'playing' with their blocks.

Then the incredible happened; Just as the last few parents left they heard Ahiru ask,"Kana, Yuuto? Shouldn't you be getting ready to go home? You don't want to keep Dad waiting, do you?"

Yuuto caught on faster than Kana did. He whipped around to look at the front of the daycare and gasped, dropping the block he had been holding. Curiously, Kana followed his gaze and gasped in shock too.

It was… It was their dad! He was standing in the doorway with a wide smile on his tired face.

"Daddy!" The children yelled, throwing their toys aside and running as fast as they could to him.

Izaya knelt down to meet them, hugging them tightly back in return. They stayed together like that for a long time, not wanting to part from each other.

Eventually, Izaya brought himself back to a standing and softly said,"Go get your stuff, we're going home."

The children quickly scurried over and grabbed their stuff, returning back to Izaya as fast as they could. With a nod at Ahiru, the raven led his children back outside.

Kana quickly took his right hand, while Yuuto took his left. After a few minutes, Kana softly began,"Daddy?"

"Yes?" Izaya asked the three year old, looking down at her with affection in his ruby orbs.

"I love you," She declared.

Yuuto quickly tugged on his hand. "Me too! I love you!" He excitedly exclaimed.

Izaya looked at both of them and then happily replied,"I love you too. Both of you."

The little family was whole again.

* * *

One Year Later

* * *

During Kana and Yuuto's final years of preschool, the tough topic finally had to be brought up. Izaya had always expected it to come up.

They returned home from preschool that day, and excitedly showed Izaya what they'd done. They drew their families; and the twins had collaborated on a piece together that showed Izaya with them holding his hands in their favorite park. Of course, it was a little hard to make out since they were only four, but Izaya was proud nonetheless.

"This is really good! We'll pin it on the fridge, okay?" He promised, excited to start putting things on it since they had only just bought a new one. They had been using a mini-fridge for a while.

Kana and Yuuto nodded, but they seemed a little more put out and were even completely still in their seats around their short legged table. _That's strange…_ Izaya thought. _Usually they'd be bouncing all over the place since they're home._

Izaya gave a soft sigh and sat back down. "What's the matter, you two?" He asked gently, unsure of what could be bothering them.

The twins looked at each other, seeming to both try and come up with a way to ask their question. They nodded at one another, and then looked back at him. "Daddy, we have a big important question to ask," Yuuto declared.

Kana nodded and decided to ask the hard question herself. "Why don't we have a mommy?" She asked.

Izaya's eyes widened in shock and he felt his heart skip a beat. _I knew they would ask this question eventually but… But I didn't expect it so soon. What do I say? What do I say?!_

The twins obviously were getting nervous thanks to his expression and the fact he was taking so long to answer. Izaya knew he had to think of something fast.

After a few more seconds, he forced himself to speak. "Your mother… She..." He began, and then stopped. _She abandoned you, she didn't want you.._ No, he couldn't say that. He couldn't hurt their memory of the parent they didn't have.

"She… She wasn't ready to be a parent," He quietly said,"So, she left you guys with me. I haven't seen her since."

Yuuto seemed to be taking everything in as he softly asked,"Were _you_ ready?"

"Honestly?" Izaya began,"No, I wasn't. But you can't be prepared for everything in life. I was alone… And I was scared for a very long time."

His mind flashed back to the… Darker times of his past couple years. The alcohol abuse, the depression, and nearly losing his life to that bastard of a neighbor. His hand unconsciously went to rub at the scar.

But as he looked at the wide eyed twins, his heart felt lighter. He recalled all the good things that happened. Quitting alcohol, meeting Ahiru, attending college, getting counseling, moving, and raising his two little ones.

"But you wanna know something?" He asked, gaining two little eager nods. He leaned forward, as if it was a secret. "Things get better. It may take days, weeks, or even years. But if you keep pushing through, and you don't give up, things will get better."

The children grinned happily, and seemed to decide on the same thing at the same time. They hopped out of their seats and ran over to Izaya, giving him a big, tight hug.

They didn't say anything, and they didn't have to. It was enough for Izaya, because he knew that no matter what happened they would always have each other.

* * *

One Year Later

* * *

"Kana, Yuuto! Slow down!"

Yuuto practically sped around the doorway, his shirt halfway on and hairbrush sill hanging off his hair. His sister was in better shape, but had somehow managed to put her shorts on backwards and her toothbrush was facing the wrong way. Both of them were quivering with excitement and couldn't seem to stand still.

Izaya could understand why, it was their first day of kindergarten after all. Even though they had been in a preschool/daycare growing up, this would be their first time at an actual school.

The raven was really proud of how far he and his family had come in the past two years. They had been living much easier since Izaya started working at the University, and he found that he actually enjoyed teaching quite a bit.

Whenever the professor had to go do research, he always invited Izaya to come with him since it involved traveling all over. When he found out Izaya was refusing because he had kids, he invited them as well.

A few in the past few years, Izaya and his kids had been able to travel when given the invitation and it had been amazing. They had gone to Australia, the United Kingdom, and Canada. Time that Izaya didn't spend helping the professor was time spent with his family, simply enjoying the sights and scenes.

Izaya was still lacking a little in the friend department, but he didn't really care. He had trust issues after all he'd gone through at the old apartment; so much so that he'd never even met his neighbors.

Ahiru and the people he used to work with at the daycare were the only ones he would genuinely call friends. Even though it had been a full summer since Kana and Yuuto graduated from preschool, he still visited as often as possible.

After two years, the twins had grown. Yuuto was the shorter of the two, with brown hair that stayed around his chin and matched Izaya's hair more. Kana's messy hair had finally tamed a bit, and became filled with wavy curls. Her hair reached her shoulders, and was as black as Izaya's. They were growing up so fast, Izaya couldn't believe it sometimes.

Today was another exciting day, their first day of kindergarten! Izaya was extremely excited, they were finally starting school! The twins were also extremely excited, which was probably why they couldn't sit still for two seconds.

"Yuuto!" He called, hurrying over to the five year old. "Put your hands up." The child listened and raised his hands up, allowing Izaya to remove the brush from his hair and pull his shirt all the way down. He then smoothed the hair down with the brush, and nudged the boy towards the kitchen.

Kana sped around the corner and spread her arms out. "M'all dressed!" She exclaimed, and then tried to run past him and into the kitchen.

Izaya quickly caught her. "No no!" He teased, lifting her up and making the girl squeal in surprise. "Silly! Your whole outfit is backwards!" He exclaimed.

The little girl giggled louder and squirmed away from him, running back into her room. There was some rustling and then she emerged again, this time with her school clothes on the right away.

"There you go!" He praised,"Now, let's go get some breakfast!"

* * *

After the kids finished their food, they hurried to the kindergarten. There were plenty of other kids hurrying in, all looking excited for their first day.

Izaya smiled at the sight, taking his own kids and moving them in front of him. He knelt down to their level, and noticed instantly that Yuuto seemed a little anxious.

"Hey, it's gonna be okay," He promised,"It's just like preschool, except you'll be a learning even more! And as soon as it's over, we'll go and get some mochi, okay?"

Yuuto gave a small smile, nodding eagerly. "Okay," He said softly while Kana nodded even more excitedly.

Izaya pulled them into a tight hug, and smiling wider with pride. "I love you guys, have a great day!" He said happily.

"We love you too!" They chorused back, then let go and hurried over to the entrance of the school. They turned back and waved at him, and then disappeared inside the school.

Izaya waved back and then sighed happily, turning and walking back out into the city. He felt a little… Strange. He didn't have classes to teach, and his kids are at school. It was the first time since the twins were brought into his life that he didn't have them with him when he wasn't working…

 _That's more free time than I know what to do with… I haven't had that much in years…_ He thought, looking around the town. Even though he had lived in Osaka for so long, he didn't know much except for what was around his apartment. Most of the time he was busy with work of his kids.

He looked around a little, feeling confused. _All this free time… What am I going to do?_ He wondered.

The rest of Izaya's day was pretty relaxing. He went home and graded papers, and then a few hours later found himself sitting on his couch wearing his pajamas, watching television, and eating a bowl of ice cream. It was so simple, but he enjoyed every second of it.

After having his alone time, Izaya got presentable again and headed back to the kindergarten. He got there just as the school let out, and he saw both of his kids standing with the other children and talking with them happily. Izaya instantly felt relieved, they were both smiling and happy. Their day had gone as well as he had hoped.

When Yuuto caught sight of Izaya, he quickly tugged his sister's backpack and then dashed towards . Kana quickly waved goodbye to the group and followed after him, both of them catching Izaya in a hug that nearly knocked him off his feet.

Izaya laughed in surprise, quickly hugging them back. "So, did you guys have a good day?" He asked, a smile on his face.

Kana quickly exclaimed,"Yes! We got to choose our cubbies and make about me photos and we got to meet everyone else and say what our favorite pet was and I told them about Tofu and Pancake and guess what, no one else has pet guinea pigs!"

"There was someone that has a snake as a pet, and I thought that was cool!" Yuuto commented,"He said he was gonna try and bring him for show and tell. And then we read a book about a lizard!"

Izaya grinned wider. "Sounds like you guys had an awesome day!" He said, gaining excited nods in return. He then leaned closer to them and whispered, "You know what would make it even more awesome?"

Their red eyes widened in excitement, began jumping up and down in their places as they both cheered at the same time.

"Mochi!"

* * *

After mochi had been eaten and the sun had set, Izaya was relaxing on the couch again, but this time the twins were with him. They had been drinking some apple juice and watching Lilo and Stitch, but both the kids slowly drifted off.

Kana had fallen asleep first, her empty cup still clothed weakly in her hand. Yuuto lasted a little longer, long enough to see Stitch save Lilo but eventually fell victim to the need for sleep as well.

Izaya watched the movie come to a close, the ending hitting him hard with the words that Stitch said about his family.

When Izaya looked down at his kids, he realized how much he could relate to the story about family. He smiled, and pulled the little ones a little closer. _I love you guys so much, more than anything else in the world._

" _This is my family. I found it, all on my own. It's little, and broken, but still good. Yeah, still good_

With a deep, content sigh, Izaya took the little ones into his arms and carried them towards their bedrooms. He couldn't wait for the next day, or any day after that, and the time they would spend together.

 _I love you guys_ He thought again. _Even after everything I've gone through, you make me so happy. I wouldn't change this, I wouldn't trade this feeling for anything."_

The feeling of love.

 _."_


	6. Chapter 6

The bright city of Osaka was vibrant and full of life, even more than usual because of the event. It wasn't just any day in Osaka, it was the Tenjin Matsuri Festival. The riverbanks were packed with vendors, stalls, performers, and people. The lanterns hung high, and music played over it all.

Honestly, even though he had only been here for a few hours, Shinra was already excited.

"Whoa! Celty, look at that!" He exclaimed, pointing at the boat passing by in the canal of water. Another bright light caught his eye, making him turn and gasp at the large object. "A karaoke contest! I've always wanted to try that!"

Celty tugged on his sleeve and pointed, leading his eyes to a small stall dedicated entirely to aliens _._ **[This festival has everything!]** She exclaimed, her whole body bouncing with the same eagerness as Shinra.

They glanced around together, hand in hand for a long while before Celty nudged him again. **[You were right]** She said. **[This was an excellent idea for our anniversary.]**

"I know, right?" Shinra replied, his heart still fluttering at those words. Yes, their anniversary, a thing that Shinra still couldn't believe he was able to say. Four years ago, Celty had said yes to his proposal, and they had been (even more) inseparable ever since.

Looking towards his amazing, beautiful wife, Shinra asked,"So, what do we want to do first?"

Shinra knew that they should have paced themselves when it came to exploring the festival, but he couldn't help it. It was his first time in Osaka, and the festival only lasted one day, so he wanted to make sure he got to see every little bit of it with Celty.

They ate food from street vendors, stopped at arcades, wons some prizes from booths (well, Celty did. Shinra _almost_ did) and all around had a very good time. Even as the time slowly crawled towards dusk.

 **[Shinra, it's time to go back to the river. I want to see the fireworks.]** Celty told him, having to put it in front of his face in order to get his attention.

Instantly, the man's face turned into a pout. "B-but Celty! We haven't even gone to the ferris wheel yet!" He reminded her. "I want it to be like those american movies. We'll sit together and talk sweet, and then when we get to the top of the ferris wheel we'll look at each other, lean forward, and-"

Celty quickly slammed her pale hand over his mouth, shoving her phone further into his face. **[That can wait for tomorrow! We're here for two weeks, we'll have plenty of time to do that stuff! But this festival won't back until next year, and you'll be upset that we missed it.]**

The man sighed, but there was a smile on his face when Celty pulled her hand away with a blissful expression on his face. "Aww, Celty! My beautiful wife! You know me so well!" He squealed, hugging her waist.

Celty's shadows puffed out a bit from underneath her helmet, and Shinra knew right away that she was blushing. He smiled even wider, his eyes turning to look past her. "But, before we go… Why don't we check out _one_ more thing?"

He pointed behind them, letting Celty see the alien stall that they had walked past before. The second Celty realized what he was showing her, she turned into the excited one. Grabbing his hand, she dragged them over to the vendor as fast as she could.

Shinra stood aside, watching as Celty marveled over each object with a smile on his face. He still couldn't believe how lucky he was, his life had turned out so great. He wouldn't trade it for anything.

He leaned back against the shop, breathing in the night air and admiring the beautiful festival once more _. If only the festival lasted more than one night... I could do this forever…_

Then, as his eyes roamed over a crowd, he saw many families closer to the streets dancing with the karaoke, people already lining up at the riverbank to prepare for the fireworks, and he saw someone across from him in a blue and black yukata buying what looked like Taiyaki- Wait…

He knew that face…

The taiyaki was handed to the man, and he turned in Shinra's direction. The second his brown eyes got a good look at the face, he felt his whole body freeze up in shock.

"Orihara-kun…" He whispered.

Celty, who had been debating between buying a Klingon and Marvin Martian stuffed animal when she heard what Shinra said. Turning to the doctor, she followed his gaze, and dropped the items she was holding immediately.

 _No way…_ Celty realized, her whole body freezing up. But she couldn't deny it, her enhanced vision let her know for sure. Even though everyone in Ikebukuro believed him to be dead, there he was. Standing right in front of them.

"He's- He's alive?!" Shinra frantically questioned. Then, before Celty could try and stop him, the underground doctor took off towards the resurrected raven. Without having any other option, Celty ran after him.

"Orihara-kun!" Shinra yelled, and this time Izaya heard it.

Izaya turned his head towards him, and Celty could see his eyes widen in shock before Shinra crashed into him, nearly knocking him to the ground, and wrapping his arms tightly around the raven.

"Shinra?!" Izaya exclaimed in a gasp of air. His eyes turned towards the Dullahan nearby. "Celty?! What are-"

"You're alive!" Shinra interrupted, wrapping his arms around him tighter. "I can't believe it! You're really alive!"

Suddenly letting go of Izaya, Shinra moved his hands onto the raven's shoulders. "Where have you been?! You-you never came back! I thought you were dead!" He cried out.

Izaya quickly began squirming in Shinra's hold. "Let me go!" He whispered,"People are starting, Shinra stop it!"

The second Izaya said his name, Shinra froze up. It had been so long that hearing it through that painfully familiar voice caught him off guard. This gave the raven enough time to wriggle out of his grasp, taking several steps back.

Shinra backed up, his wide brown eyes staring up at the raven. He still couldn't believe it… Izaya was right in front of him. That inky black hair, those strange red eyes, he looked exactly the same.

"You're alive…" The underground doctor whispered again, still struggling to find any other words to push through his throat.

Izaya stared back at him warily, his shoulders tense and arms held tightly at his sides. The one hand holding the bag of Taiyaki was clutching to it so tightly that his knuckles were extremely white. "I'm alive…" He cautiously replied.

Alarm bells instantly went off in Celty's head. _Why is he being so nervous? What is he trying to hide? Is he trying to hurt people again?_ She suspiciously wondered. Quickly pulling out her phone, she typed out a message and shoved it towards him. **[What are you doing here, Izaya?]**

He read her message slowly, taking several seconds to think about what he was going to say. After staring at the phone for a strangely long time, he nervously replied,"I- I live here…"

 **[Oh, so you ran away like a coward and came hurt more innocent people?]** Celty angrily demanded, remembering the incident with her head and how Izaya nearly killed several people that night.

"No!" Izaya quickly exclaimed, his voice so frantic that Shinra and Celty jumped. "I don't do that anymore! I'm not even an informant broker anymore!"

Celty froze, not at all expecting to hear such a thing. Her suspicions quickly melted the shock away. **[Why should we believe you? All you've ever done is lie!]** She snapped.

The raven frowned, his voice turning firm. "I don't care if you believe me or not," He said,"That doesn't matter to me. I have my life here now, so you can stop worrying. I never want to see Ikebukuro again. Just leave me alone."

Shinra's eyes widened as the raven tried to turn and walk away. "What?! No, you can't go!" He exclaimed, grabbing the back of Izaya's yukata. "I don't understand! You loved Ikebukuro! You loved your job! Why didn't you come back?! You'd never just leave like that, what happened to change that?"

"Daddy! There you are!"

Two small bodies suddenly crashed into Izaya, knocking both the raven and the underground doctor holding onto him. Shinra quickly let go of the Yukata, sitting up as fast as he could to try and stop the raven. _I can't let Izaya disappear again!_

But to his shock, getting knocked down wasn't some kind of distraction. The two small bodies were now kneeling by the sitting Izaya, wide grins on their faces. The taller of the two grabbed Izaya's arms, attempting to pull him to his feet.

"Come on, daddy!" She exclaimed,"We're gonna miss the fireworks! We gotta go now!"

"We gotta get a good seat! We gotta go now, dad!" The other child said, jumping to Izaya's other side, grabbing his arms, and jumping up and down.

Shinra and Celty once again found themselves frozen in shock. These kids… They were calling Izaya… Their dad?

Izaya's nervous eyes looked towards them, his skin noticeably more pale. But as the children's continued to pester, his attention turned away from him. With a smile, he got to his feet, and shakily said,"Alright, you two. Let's go find a seat."

"Yay!" The little girl cheered, pulled Izaya away from the couple and towards the gathering crowd. "Firework time!"

As the two children pulled the raven away, Izaya looked back at them one last time. His red eyes were narrowed, and Shinra knew him long enough to know for a fact that Izaya was silently telling them to stay away.

Once the raven disappeared into the crowd, Shinra let out a breath he didn't even realize he was holding and turned to Celty. "Oh my god…" He whispered,"Celty, he- he-"

 **[It could be a trick, it wouldn't be the first time]** Celty quickly said. **[Remember all that drama with the little girl Akane? This could be the same thing.]**

"I don't think so…" Shinra told her. "Did you see them? They look a lot like Izaya. I think they might actually be his kids."

Celty hesitated before she furiously typed once more. **[What are you getting at Shinra?]** She demanded.

Shinra gulped, he could practically feel the anger radiating off the Dullahan. "I'm saying that we should talk to him. Maybe he really has changed. There's only one way to find out," He pointed out.

 **[And how exactly are we going to talk to him? He told us to leave him alone, I doubt he'll even give us the time of day.]** She said.

"I'll… I'll think of something," Shinra replied, taking Celty's hand in his once more. "But before that, let's go watch the fireworks."

Celty squeezed his hand back, giving the smallest of nods in return. Together, they found a nice spot to sit and watch the boats and the beautiful lights in the sky. But even then, their minds were thinking about the man they had both thought to be dead for the past six years, and what they should do next.

* * *

"Did you like the fireworks?" Izaya gently asked the two children, Yuuto riding on his back with his arms loosely wrapped around the raven's neck, and Kana holding Izaya's free hand, walking slowly at his side.

Yuuto let out a small yawn, and softly responded,"They were too loud…"

"That's cuz they're 'splosions, stupid," Kana muttered back.

Izaya squeezed her hand in warning. "Oi, we don't call our brother that," He firmly said.

"M'sorry Yuuto," She tiredly said, and then quickly changed the subject. "I liked the pretty colors."

Yuuto nodded against Izaya's neck. "Me too, and when it 'xploded into a kitty," He said,"Like our kitty."

"Thank you for taking us to the festival, daddy," Kana softly said,"I loved it, and I love you."

Yuuto nodded again. "I love you too, and I loved the festival too," He said, not about to be the only one who didn't say it.

Izaya felt all the stress of the day melt away at those simple words, a smile climbing on his face. "I love you guys too," He gently replied.

They walked in silence for a few more minutes, and Izaya could feel Yuuto get even heavier as he fully fell asleep. Eventually, he also felt Kana start to slow down, her movements getting more sluggish.

"Daddy, carry me?" The little girl asked, stopping and holding her hands up and looking up at him with those tired eyes.

The raven gave a tired nod of his own, shifting Yuuto a tiny bit and lifting her into his arms. She fell asleep almost as soon as she was in his arms. Unfortunately for Izaya, he still had a while to go.

Closer to the end of the walk, he felt his arms grow tired. He tried to shift the children so he could carry them better without waking them, but found that he was struggling to find a good position.

"Need help?"

Izaya jolted at the familiar voice, turning to see Shinra and Celty behind him. Remembering their suspicions of him earlier, and angry that they hadn't listened when he said to leave him alone, he asked,"How do I know you won't just take them and run off?"

 **[How do we know they aren't just some puppets in your new Osaka puppet show?]** Celty challenged, which only served to make Izaya more annoyed.

"If all you're going to do is interrogate me, then go away," The raven firmly said.

Shinra quickly got in between them. "I just want to help, Orihara-kun," He said,"You've had a long day, we can help. Isn't that what friends do?"

Izaya stared at him for several seconds, narrowed eyes seeming to look right into Shinra's soul. After what felt like an eternity, the raven relented, turning so that Shinra could take hold of Kana.

The underground doctor held the girl close, and thankfully she stayed asleep. Izaya couldn't help the sigh of relief that went through him at the sight.

Seeing his untensing shoulders, Shinra frowned and asked,"What is it?"

"Kana's still asleep, I'm relieved," Izaya explained, a smirk on his face. "If she woke up, she'd never get back to sleep. I'd be up all night."

Shinra made an 'oh' sound of understanding, going back to silence before a smile started to climb up his face as well. "So, I guess she's a lot like her dad?" He teased,"I remember you skipping around Ikebukuro at all hours of the night instead of sleeping like a reasonable person."

Izaya's eyes widened, and Shinra swore that he could see a hint of pink on his cheeks as they passed a street light. "Sh-shut up," He muttered, but Shinra could hear the grin in his face. Sadly, he wasn't able to return it because Izaya turned back to the road, keeping his eyes on it and not saying anything else.

An awkward silence descended over them for the rest of the walk, none of the three knowing what to say.

Finally, they got to Izaya's apartment. It was a nice building in the city, but it also wasn't an extremely fancy high-rise like his old home. Celty found her curiosity started to overrun her suspicion, she wanted to know more.

But once they got to the third floor and Izaya's apartment specifically, Izaya took Kana from Shinra, and said,"Thank you for your help, have a good night."

Shinra frowned as soon as he heard that. "No, wait, Izaya," He quickly said,"Please, don't end things here. We just want to talk."

Izaya stared at them both, but more specifically Celty. "I'd prefer if we didn't," He said,"I'm leaving Ikebukuro alone, just like everyone wanted. Nobody would be happy to hear I'm alive, so let's just pretend we never saw each other."

"I don't want to pretend!" Shinra whisper-yelled,"Izaya, you were my first true friend. To find out you're still alive after all these years… After we thought that you had been murdered by Varona... I just... I just want to understand..."

 **[You owe us that much, especially after everything you did to us in Ikebukuro.]** Celty firmly told the raven.

Izaya's guilt ridden red eyes looked at the two of them pleadingly. "I know that I do, Celty. But, please… Not tonight," He said,"Not when Kana and Yuuto are here… They have school tomorrow, come back then."

Celty shoved the phone in his face so suddenly that it made Izaya visibly flinch. **[Why should we trust a single thing you say?]** She demanded. **[For all we know, we'll get here tomorrow and you'll be gone.]**

Shinra almost joined in with Celty at pressuring Izaya, but he saw something that made him hesitate. He reached out, placing his hand on his wife's shoulder. "Celty," He quietly said, making her stop and turn towards him. He gave her a small nod, knowing she would understand.

Celty looked towards Izaya, and the underground doctor could tell she still wanted to threaten the raven. Thankfully, she seemed to trust his judgement, and backed away. Shinra gave a smile and a sigh of relief, and then turned to Izaya. "We'll see you tomorrow," He declared.

Izaya gave a stiff nod in response, and quickly hurried into the apartment, shutting the door behind him without hesitation.

Shinra took Celty's hand, leading them out of the apartment and onto the still-crowded streets. They didn't speak for several long, awkward minutes, both of them were too nervous to breach the subject of what had just occurred.

As they rounded the corner to their hotel, Celty finally managed to type out a message. **[Why are you trusting him?]** She asked. **[What did he say that made you think he deserves to wait until tomorrow to talk to us?]**

"It wasn't what he said, it's what he did," Shinra replied,"When you were threatening him, it was obvious he was afraid, right? But he never went to protect himself, he was covering the kids. He was protecting them, Celty. The old Izaya would _never_ put others before himself."

Celty looked towards the ground, her pace slowing as she went over her memories. Yes, she remembered now. When she got closer, Izaya's body turned in a way that blocked the two children the best he could when holding both.

 **[You're…. Right, the old Izaya would never do that.]** She said. **[But that doesn't mean anything. It could still be one big trick.]**

"True," Shinra agreed, rubbing his chin thoughtfully, and then giving an exaggerated shrug. "Well, I guess we'll find out tomorrow."

 **[Tomorrow.]**

* * *

Izaya had no idea how he managed to hold it in so long. He could feel it bubbling up, but he still made sure to tuck Kana and Yuuto in their beds, shut the door, and walked into the living room before it completely took over.

Seeing Shinra and Celty, having them follow him, bringing up Varona… It was too much for him.

His chest grew tight, the feeling of bile rose up in his throat. The blood pounded in his ears, heart thudding against his chest, and one of his shaking hands grabbing at the gunshot scar on his stomach, the other covering the knife wound from Varona.

Breathing was hard, too hard, every inhale and exhale became a struggle, which in turn made the tears streaming down his face only come even faster. Flashes appeared in front of his vision of Shizuo, Varona, the flash grenade, his neighbor with the gun- His arms were throbbing, he broke them, he _broke_ them."Oh g-god…" He stuttered out.

Izaya frantically grabbed his phone from his nightstand, pressing the second speed dial number. The number of his therapist. He had always told Izaya that he could call at any time, but Izaya never took him up on that offer. But he needed help, he needed to stop the memories that were attacking him.

"Hello? Izaya? Are you there?" The soft, but tired voice came from the phone.

In between desperate attempts to gather enough air, he frantically said,"R-reizo, please… I can't- I can't breathe-"

That was all the older man needed. He quickly said,"Okay, it's alright. We're going to get through this together. I want you to breathe with me, in and out, in and out."

It took much longer than usual for Izaya to calm down, but eventually he was breathing correctly, and his vision was clear. His eyes were red rimmed from crying, his skin still more pale than usual. The only things that were managing to keep him calm was the cat in his lap and Reizo's gentle tone.

After letting the man just sit and rest for a few minutes, Reizo spoke up again. "If you're feeling up to it, may I ask what caused this one?" He questioned.

Izaya nodded, even though he knew that Reizo couldn't see it. "Do you… Do you remember Shinra and Celty?" He asked, gaining an affirmative noise in response. Taking another deep breath, he continued,"They… They were here."

"In Osaka?" Reizo replied curiously, the surprise in his tone very obvious. "Was it for the festival?"

"Y-yes but the… The second they saw me, they started interrogating me. They wanted to know why I was here and- and where I've been!" He exclaimed,"They followed me back to my apartment and didn't want to leave until I told them about- I guess just everything…"

"Oh dear…" Reizo quietly said.

Izaya quickly added,"I- I managed to convince them to wait until tomorrow, when the twins are at school. B-but I don't know what to say… I don't- I don't know what to do, Reizo…"

Reizo, as calm as always, gently replied,"I know you don't like thinking about your life in Ikebukuro anymore, but it seems like there's no escaping it now. You have to talk to them, but you don't have to tell them everything."

Izaya quietly wondered,"Celty was right, they deserve an explanation…" Izaya quietly said,"What should I tell them?"

"I can't tell you that," Reizo said,"It's about what you're comfortable with telling them. And Izaya, I know you feel guilty about the past, but don't you think you've owned up to those mistakes already?"

Izaya didn't answer, so Reizo continued,"Remember what I told you, Izaya. People aren't just good or bad, people improve. Every day, you've been trying to be better than you were the day before. That's proof enough for me that you're a better person than you were six years ago."

The man smiled a bit, the honest compliment filling his exhausted body with happiness. "You're… You're right..." He agreed,"I'm a better person now, I'll help them see that. It's just one day, I can do this…"

"Call me afterwards, okay?' Reizo asked,"If you're comfortable with it, I'd like to hear how it goes."

"I will, I promise," Izaya said,"Oh, and thank you… For listening to me about all this."

He could feel Reizo's smile through the phone. "You can call and talk to me at any time," He said,"That's what I'm here for."

They said their goodbyes, and Izaya set his phone down. He leaned back on the couch and stared up at the ceiling, taking a few minutes to just relax and let out the rest of his tension. Once he felt better, he leaned forward again, scooping up the fluffy orange cat and walking down the hall.

"Come on, Meowth," Izaya said,"We need to get plenty of rest, tomorrow is going to be a busy day."

"


	7. Chapter 7

"Thank you so much for taking them to school, Ahiru-san," Izaya gratefully said as he packed the twins' bento boxes with their lunch.

The old woman was sitting at the table with the two five year olds, eating a complimentary breakfast that Izaya had made for her along with their own. The twins were chattering to her so much that Izaya could barely get in a word.

Thankfully, she heard him over their babbles and gave him a kind smile. "It's no trouble at all, Izaya-kun," She said, getting out of her seat and poking him in the side of the head. "And I've told you a thousand times, call me Ahiru. Ahiru-san just makes me feel old."

"But you _are_ old!" Kana replied helpfully, while her brother nodded his head in agreement.

Ahiru gaped in surprise at the sound of Kana's blunt statement, stared at the child for a long, tense second… And then burst out laughing. She leaned forward, and ruffled Kana's hair as she replied,"You're lucky you're cute, Kana-chan!"

Kana tilted her head in confusion, but her attention was quickly pulled elsewhere. She lifted up her empty bowl and exclaimed,"I'm done!"

"Me too!" Yuuto chimed in around a mouthful of rice, and showed off his clean plate as well. He quickly jumped off his seat, standing in front of the adults proudly. "Today is show n' tell! And- And I'm gonna bring Pikachu!"

"Yuuto-kun, you brought Pikachu last week… And the week before that." Izaya reminded the child. "Your teacher wanted to bring something new, remember?"

The little boy sighed and nodded. "But then who do I bring?" He asked curiously, and swayed his arms impatiently as he waited for an answer.

Izaya hummed in thought and rubbed his chin, until he got an idea. "Oh! What about Sobble? You just got him yesterday, after all!"

Yuuto gasped, as if he had never thought of such a thing, and quickly ran down the hallway to grab his other pokemon stuffy.

Kana didn't dare waste a second of her time either. She ran after her brother as she excitedly yelled,"I'm gonna bring Appletun!"

Once the two children were out of earshot, Ahiru turned towards Izaya, crossed her arms, and stared at him. He paid her no mind, as he frantically tidied up the living room and fluffed the pillows. After a few awkward seconds with no one saying anything, she finally let out a frustrated sigh.

"I know what you're doing and I think you need to stop doing it," She said,"Why on Earth are you cleaning up for _them?_ "

Izaya's face flushed in embarrassment, knowing she had caught on, and quickly said,"I want the apartment to look nice for when they come over. It'll leave a better impression."

Ahiru sighed as she stalked forward, grabbed his arm, and pulled him away from his attempts to clean the apartment. "You don't have to leave an impression, Izaya!" She angrily whispered,"They shouldn't even be coming over!"

"They deserve to know-"

"No, they really don't! You've left them alone for six years, but the second they run into you, they want to pry into your personal life! If the roles were reversed, you and I both know they would lash out at you!" Ahiru snapped,"So why are you letting them do this to you?!"

Izaya frowned, and looked away from her as he quietly whispered,"After everything I did to them, I owe them…"

"You _don't_ owe them anything, I've told you that before," Ahiru reminded him,"I know all about the stuff you did, but don't you think you've repaid that debt already? I think you've been through enough."

The raven sighed and spun around to face her. "I know!" He agreed,"But you don't know them like I do, Ahiru. If I say no, they'll get suspicious. If I do this, if I let them see I truly have changed, then they'll leave me alone afterwards..."

"Yeah right..." Ahiru muttred, her tone hate-filled and poisonous.

Izaya pretended that he hadn't heard that, and continued,"Listen… I need to do this… Not just for them, but for me. My past has been weighing on my shoulders for six years... All the things that I did are always haunting me. Even if they still hate me and never speak to me again… I have to do this."

The older woman watched him carefully, and Izaya could tell that she could see the guilt that wrapped around him like a suffocating blanket.

Eventually she sighed, and nodded her head. "I get it," She relented as she gave him a gentle squeeze on his shoulder. "But I still want to send me a test every half hour. If you don't, I will call the police and send them here."

The kids returned with their toys for show and tell, excitedly showing their brand new Pokemon plushies to Ahiru. The old woman complimented their Pokemon plushies, took their packed bags from Izaya, and said,"Alright you two, let's go to school."

Kana and Yuuto hugged and kissed Izaya goodbye, and headed out with the old woman. Izaya shut the door behind them, waiting until the footsteps faded away before he allowed himself to let out all the tension that had built up.

He placed his hands in his hair, and squeezed the locks as he slid down to the ground, pulled his legs to his chest, and shoved his forehead against his knees. He could feel himself starting to panic, the feeling of a tight chest and pounding heart had become an all too common occurrence for him.

But he couldn't panic right now, not when his guests were coming over soon. He bit his bottom lip and forced himself to take deep breaths, he knew he needed to calm down. "It's okay… It's okay… It'll be over before you know it. Then everything will go back to normal. They'll come, we'll talk, they'll leave, and my family will be safe…"

A grim laugh escaped him. Even if Izaya was hopeful for that to be true, he had a feeling that things were going to get complicated once again, and this time his past in Ikebukuro would probably be involved.

Unfolding himself, he wiped the stream of tears from his eyes. "Alright… Alright," He said, pushing himself to his feet and looking at the clock nervously. "Let's get this over with…"

* * *

 **[Did you seriously have to buy him a gift?]** Celty asked her husband, eyeing the box of sushi that the man was carrying as they walked down the hallway towards Izaya's apartment.

"Yes I did," Shinra firmly said,"We're guests in his house, and he agreed to talk with us even though it's _really_ obvious he didn't want to. Plus, he's my friend… Or at least he was. Even if he doesn't want to be friends anymore, he was still my first friend, and I'll always appreciate that. I can at least show it."

Celty shook her helmet in disapproval, not wanting to encourage Izaya's evil trickery. Well… If they are tricks. He could be telling the truth… A kinder part of her mind suggested, but she pushed it aside. She couldn't forget all the things he had done.

They got to the plain looking door, a door that held such a prominent person from their past protectively behind it. Shinra took a deep breath, and prepared himself for whatever was to come next as he reached forward and knocked on the door.

A few seconds passed before the door was opened, revealing a tired-looking Izaya. His eyes were red rimmed, he was clad in a comfy looking blue sweater and black pants. At the sight of the couple, he gave them a small, obviously forced smile.

"Good morning, Shinra, Celty," The raven softly said, as he opened the door further, and moved out of their way. "Come on it."

Shinra thanked his old friend, making sure to take off his shoes and placed them by Izaya's shoes and the scattered house slippers that belonged to the raven's shoes. The doctor couldn't help but smile at the sight as he stepped over them and into the apartment.

Despite the fact that they had been there the night before, both of the guests looked around the room curiously and took in everything they could once more. How strangely normal the apartment looked, all the items that obviously belonged to children, the absence of anything that would hint he was still in his old ways.

Shinra looked towards Izaya, who was awkwardly standing next to them. He smiled, holding out the box. "I um… I got you some fatty tuna! I figured that it was the least I could do!" He nervously said.

For a split second, he saw the glitter of happiness in Izaya's eyes, before he shut down again and sheepishly took the box. "I- Um… Thank you," He whispered softly,"I'll- I'll go put this away. You two can go sit down."

They followed the direction given, moving to sit on the plush couch, both of them too tense to relax back into the cushions. Izaya returned moments later and sat on the couch across from them.

It was obvious that the raven was nervous. His hands were clenched into fists on his knees, his shoulders tense, and his eyes staring at the coffee table in between the two pieces of furniture in front of them instead of at either of his guests.

For a long, painful minute, the only sound was the ticking of a clock on the wall. Shinra chewed on the inside of his mouth for a while before finally gathering the courage to start a conversation.

"So… Osaka, huh?" He awkwardly began. "Nice city… What made you decide to move here?"

Izaya looked up at them briefly, cringing at the awkward conversation starter but looking relieved that he didn't have to be the one to do it. "Um… Well… I didn't really have a reason… I just wanted to leave Ikebukuro," He weakly admitted.

 **[So you could cause chaos somewhere else?]** Celty managed to type out before Shinra could stop her.

Izaya only closed his eyes and sighed once he finished reading her words. "No," He said,"I _left_ Ikebukuro because I wanted to get as far away from it as I could. I had broken arms, a knife in my stomach, and I almost got shot. I _stayed away_ because you guys deserve peace after everything I did, and I wanted to raise my kids in a safe place."

Shinra nodded. "So I guess you're not an informant broker anymore?" He asked curiously.

Izaya shook his head. "Haven't been in six years. I work as an assistant professor at Osaka University now. It's a nice job, my students are hard working… Most of the time, and my hours line up well with Kana and Yuuto's school schedules, so I don't miss much time with them."

The underground doctor leaned back on the couch, scratching the back of his neck. "I still can't believe that you have kids, Orihara-kun." He admitted, and then gave a small laugh. "In all honesty, all of this is hard to take in. I mean, we thought you were dead for so long… And now you're here and… You're so different."

"What an astute and detailed observation, doctor," Izaya teased with a small, amused smirk appearing on his face. "What gave that away?"

Shinra's lips quirked up into a smile. "Okay, maybe not completely different," He teased back.

Shinra and Izaya shared an amused laugh, but Celty still couldn't seem to get past her suspicions. She had given Izaya many chances, and he always abused them. She didn't understand why now, after he had supposedly gone off the point of no return, why he had a change of heart. There had to be a reason. People don't just... Change, and certainly not people like Izaya.

She shoved her PDA towards him. **[Why now?]** She demanded. **[You were a bastard the entire time I knew you. What changed that?]**

Izaya read her words, and a tired expression filled his gaze. "Well, life hasn't exactly been kind to me since I left. Call it karma, or whatever," Izaya replied,"I kind of fell apart. I was actually in a wheelchair for a while, and then people started tracking me down. After paying off a few to leave me alone, they just told other people where I was. Eventually, I got physical therapy and ran even farther away to Osaka."

"Did you meet your wife here?" Shinra asked curiously.

Izaya visibly cringed at the word, awkwardly wringing his fingers together. "She's not in the picture," He quietly said,"She brought Kana and Yuuto to me and then left."

Shinra frowned. "Oh… Um… I'm sorry…" He muttered,"That must have been hard on you…"

"It was for a while," Izaya admitted, deciding honestly was probably best with them. "But I got back on my feet with some help and now we're living pretty comfortably."

He looked up at them, his eyes firm. "A-and just so you know, I don't have any plans to bother anyone ever again. I don't care about Ikebukuro anymore, I just want to raise Kana and Yuuto in peace," He explained,"That's why I sort of froze up when I saw you guys at the festival."

 **[If you don't want anything to do with Ikebukuro, then why are you talking to us right now?]** Celty questioned.

Izaya gave her an exasperated glare. "Because when I told you guys to leave me alone, you didn't and followed me home," He bluntly reminded her.

Celty hesitated in her typing, and eventually replied **[Okay, fair enough.]**

The trio went silent for another few moments, all desperately trying to find some kind of topic to talk about. It was, of course, Shinra who eventually managed to grab onto a strand of conversation.

"So your kids, are they a lot like you?" He asked curiously,"I mean, they look like you. But what about mannerisms? Any specific genetic connections via their behavior."

Celty slapped his shoulder. **[They're kids, Shinra, not lab rats]** She chided, ignoring Izaya's surprised look at her defending his kids.

The raven smiled, many memories running through his mind. "Well, Kana has always been a troublemaker. As soon as she learned to walk, she was climbing things and running all over the place. Yuuto is shy, but he's really smart. One time he tricked his sister into giving him her dessert for a bean."

"How in the world did he do that?" Shinra mused aloud.

Izaya chuckled and shrugged. "No clue, I only found out after Kana came crying to me about it. He had already eaten the dessert though, so there wasn't much I could do," He said, and then his smile widened. "She got him back though, although it was a little extreme. She would take his pudding from lunch and sell it to some of the other kids, and refused to share the money she made."

 _Yep, they're definitely Izaya's kids._ Both Shinra and Celty thought in unison.

Izaya leaned back in his seat, noticeably starting to relax. "Well, what about you guys? Has anything interesting happened besides you two getting married?" He asked.

Shinra's face instantly turned bright pink, and he giggled like a schoolgirl as he played with the ring on his finger. "Oh, you noticed?" He happily asked.

"It's not hard to when you were loudly proclaiming it every chance you got at the festival," Izaya reminded him. "I swear, I could hear you over the fireworks."

Celty's smoke puffed out in embarrassment, and she quickly slapped Shinra's shoulder again. She hated when he made a scene, and if Izaya and his kids (who had actively been trying to stay as far away from them as possible that night) could hear them, then a lot of other people did too.

 **[Shinra's dad moved to America, and took Namie with him as an assistant. He's only ever come back when he wanted something from us which, thankfully, isn't often]** Celty said, taking over for the giggling underground doctor. **[The Raira kids all graduated and are at college. Kasuka and his girlfriend are getting married soon, the media have been talking about it ever since.]**

"Kadota and the gang are pretty much the same, they're still always hanging out together. I think they even rented a house together. And Shizuo-"

Izaya flinched at the name, his fingers clenching the couch at the thought of the blonde. He saw Celty tilt her helmet curiously, while Shinra gave him a concerned glance. He quickly shook his head. "It's fine," He croaked,"Keep going."

Shinra looked like he didn't believe him, but he decided to listen. "Shizuo has been the same too. He and Tom still work together, he still loses his temper a lot. But… He seems… Rather sad…"

"Sad?" Izaya questioned, surprised by such a statement. Shouldn't Shizuo, the man who had been his mortal enemy, be happy that he had freed Ikebukuro of the monster that was Izaya?

 **[Well, I think he feels guilty about what happened when you... ]** Celty hesitated, she couldn't really say 'died' anymore. **[Well, since you went missing. I mean, until today Shinra and I both still thought you were dead. Everyone else still does, and I think Shizuo blames himself for "killing you"]**

Izaya frowned again. "But he wasn't the one who tried to shoot me, it was V-Varona…" He muttered, starting to shudder as images flashed in his mind of Varona, and the one who really had shot him not that long ago.

"We tried to tell him that too, but I think it only makes him feel worse. He regrets that whole fight…" Shinra explained.

The raven let out a sad sigh. "He's not the only one…" He admitted.

 **[Really?]** Celty asked in shock.

Izaya nodded. "I mean, I do love my kids and being a professor… I will never give it up for anything… But I wish it could have happened differently. I wish… I wish I could have been a better person…"

Suddenly, Celty found herself feeling for Izaya. He had never been good when it came to faking things like regret or sadness, he preferred the 'holier than thou' route. To see those emotions on his face, it made her start to believe the bizarre situation they were in a little more.

She reached out and gave his shoulder an awkward pat. **[You of all people know that we can't change our past actions. But, it's obvious you've become a different person, someone who is better than the past you, even I can see that.]** She told him. **[And even though all that stuff still happened, it's better late than never, right?]**

Izaya listened to her quietly, a small smile on his face at her kind words. "Yeah… You're right…" He softly said, his hand carefully landing on top of hers and giving a thankful squeeze. "Thank you, Celty."

After that, the tension in the room slowly faded away. Their conversation stayed away from the more sensitive topics and onto more fun ones, like Shinra's latest embarrassing moment, any weird delivery Celty had to make, and Izaya's most annoying students.

Soon they had gone through a whole kettle of tea and all the fatty tuna that Shinra had brought them, and Izaya found himself genuinely having a good time. It was nice to ignore the past and focus on the present, and just be friends with two of the most prominent figures from his life.

After a few hours of enjoying themselves, Shinra and Celty decided it was time to leave. They knew Izaya had to pick up the twins soon, and they had to continue their 'amazing wonderful anniversary adventure' as Shinra called it.

But, they did exchange numbers to make sure they could keep in touch. It was nice, but Shinra didn't think it was enough. Despite what happened, Shinra still saw Izaya as his closest friend, and he didn't want to lose him again.

But as they put on their shoes, an idea hit Shinra. He grabbed Izaya's arm, and happily exclaimed,"Come to our hot pot party next month!"

Izaya blinked at him incredulously. "Your… What?"

"Hot pot party! We have twice a month so we can all see each other and talk!" Shinra explained excitedly,"You should come!"

The raven cringed. "I'm not sure that would be a good idea, Shinra," He nervously said,"I mean, about seventy-five percent of the people at that party will hate my guts…"

Shinra's grin never faltered as he declared,"Well you can prove them wrong! Please, just one time, and then if you never want to come back, you don't have to. But please, just this once… For me?"

The underground doctor and his wife waited with baited breath as Izaya visibly debated the idea inside of his mind. After almost a full minute of silence, the raven quietly replied,"I'll… Think about it…"

A grin appeared on Shinra's face, and he gave Izaya a happy grin. "Thank you, Izaya! That's all I ask!" He said in relief,"Keep in touch, I hope I'll see you next month!"

They left the apartment, leaving Izaya all alone. As the silence filled the apartment, the weight of his promise hit him. "What did I just agree to?" He asked aloud, but gained no answer. He numbly walked over to the coffee table, grabbing the dirty dishes and bringing them to the sink.

"I mean, maybe it won't be so bad!" He tried to reason with himself, placing the dishes in the sink with shaking hands. "I mean, I'll get to see how everyone is doing. Saki… Who hates me, Masomi… Who hates me…. Anri… Mikado… S-Shizuo…"

Overwhelmed by fear and painful memories, Izaya lurched forward, and threw up all of the contents of his stomach into the sink.


	8. Chapter 8

"...And so now we know that the half-life of the isotope is six hours, so what percentage will be left after twenty-four hours?" Izaya asked the student.

The young woman gave a thoughtful glance at the paper, quickly scribbling down on her scratch paper, and then giving Izaya a nervous glance. "Would it be six point twenty five?" She asked hopefully.

Izaya gave her an approving grin. "That's correct," He declared,"Good job, but remember that the questions on the actual exam will be a little more difficult than the one we just did. But, page fifty-seven in your book has some practice problems you can do that I know will be helpful."

His student smiled and gave a determined nod. "I'll start working on the practice problems right away! Thank you for your help, Professor!" She said, picked up her bag, and hurried out of his office.

Izaya sighed in relief once she was gone, and nobody else popped in through the door. The exam for one of his classes was in a week, and his students had been pouring in to ask questions about stuff ranging from the first week of lecture to the last thing they spoke about. He was happy they were using his office hours, but it still felt like some kind of planned attack.

"See, Izaya? And you thought you wouldn't be a good teacher," His senior, Yamaguchi, teased from his own desk as he scanned through his student's lab reports. "I think you'll be a perfect fit to take over for me, retirement is approaching fast!"

The raven rolled his eyes, tapping his pen on the side of his desk. "Yes but you also don't retire for another five years, sir, don't get too excited," He reminded the older man.

Yamaguchi slumped forward with a sad sigh. "Oh please don't remind me, Izaya," He whined,"Let me imagine for just a little while that I'll be heading to Florida in a few days."

Izaya rolled his eyes at the sound of his superior's wistful tone, and opened his laptop, intent on getting some work done. Before he could type a single letter, his eyes caught sight of the date in the corner of the screen, and it made him freeze in surprise.

 _It's been just about a month since Shinra and Celty found me…_ He thought to himself. _Their Hot Pot party is in a few days… The one I was invited to… The one Shinra basically begged me to attend…_

It wasn't like he had been completely avoiding Shinra. They had been texting every few days and talking about their lives, but they both avoided certain topics. The Hot Pot party was one of them, but Izaya knew that was because Shinra hoped that if he wasn't pushy, Izaya would attend it.

He bit the end of his pen, and chewed on it in thought. He had told Shinra he would _think_ about going, but he had pushed the party to the furthest corner of his mind as soon as the two had left. _But now it's a few days away… Do I… Do I go?_ He wondered nervously. _If I do… Will I come out alive?_

He gritted his teeth, his hand tightening around the chewed pen. _Shinra said that he wouldn't tell them I was alive if I didn't want to go but… Do I want to stay hidden? What if someone finds me like Shinra did? Not everyone out there is kind like Shinra... What if they spread it? Then..._

"Hey, Izaya? Are you okay?" Yamaguchi's voice asked, snapping him out of his panicked thoughts.

The raven blinked blearily, and blanked for several seconds before finally looking over at his superior. "Uh… Yes?" He tried unsuccessfully, his attempt at a smile coming off as more of a cringe.

Yamaguchi saw right through it. "Your abused pen tells me otherwise," He pointed out, and leaned back in his chair. "Look, I'm an old timer, and also your superior. We're supposed to give advice, it's in the job description. So is there anything I can help you with?"

Izaya frowned, looking down at the chewed up pen as he thought of what to say. He took a few seconds to figure out the best way to phrase the question, and then he asked,"If someone who you haven't seen in years suddenly came back into your life, and wanted you to reconnect with them at their hot pot party with other people who you haven't spoken to in years… And who possibly hates you… Would you?"

The older professor furrowed his eyebrows, and let out a thoughtful noise. "Well… I'm not sure," He said,"If they hate me, that's probably a reason not to go. But if it's been years, and people can change, especially over long periods of time. Maybe things are different now?"

"Maybe…" Izaya replied, although his voice gave away the doubt that he still held in his heart about the whole situation. "But… What if they still hated you because of things you did all those years ago?"

Yamaguchi didn't need to think hard for that question. "It sounds more like they hate the person you were _at that time_ ," He pointed out. "They hate the old you, but they haven't met you _now._ Maybe they would be willing to give you a chance?"

"Or maybe they'll hate me even more…" Izaya muttered quietly as his fingers drummed against the desk.

The professor listening to him let out a pointed sigh. "Izaya, I know you," He said,"You're a curious and extremely stubborn person. If you don't go to this party of yours, do you really think you'll stop thinking about it? That all these thoughts about what _could_ happen will go away?"

Part of Izaya wanted to say they would, that his life could be free of any reminders of Ikebukuro, but he also knew just how much he would wonder about the what-ifs of the party if he didn't go.

With an annoyed huff, he pulled out his phone and declared,"I guess I'm getting a babysitter…" He scrolled through the list on his phone, and gave his boss a small smile. "Thank you, sir…"

"Anytime!" Yamaguchi replied, and then sighed sadly. "Take my advice while you can, because soon I will be on the sandy beaches in Florida."

"Five years is not 'soon', sir."

"I can dream, Izaya!"

* * *

Three Days Later

* * *

Izaya sat on the train in silence, his hands balled up in fists in his lap, and a gift bag with homemade _taiyaki_ next to his legs.

As the scenery outside the window passed him by, he felt the fear in his chest getting more intense. _I can't believe I'm doing this, I can't believe I'm doing this, I can't believe I'm doing this…_ He repeated in his head, as several worst-case scenarios ran through his head.

 _What if it's all an elaborate trap to hurt me and my kids? What if nobody gives me a chance to explain? What if Shizuo throws something at me and hurts me really bad? What if the babysitter forgets about Kana's peanut allergy and gives her a peanut butter and jelly sandwich?!_

He forced himself to take deep breaths, and shake away those thoughts. _Take it easy, Izaya… If things go wrong, you can just turn around and leave._ He reminded himself. He tried to push down the hope that such an event would happen. He really didn't want to hurt Shinra's feelings, but being anywhere other than Ikebukuro sounded much more exciting to him.

The train slowed to a halt, the cheerful voice announcing the destination, and mocking Izaya's at its apparent excitement. With an exhausted sigh, he climbed to his feet, grabbed the bag, and exited the train.

The tall skyscrapers of Ikebukuro were eerily familiar, the streets were as crowded as he remembered, even the air he breathed in brought back both fond and painful memories. He sighed, and continued his walk through Ikebukuro.

As he trekked towards his old friend's apartment, he passed by a familiar restaurant. His footsteps came to a halt as he saw a familiar large man standing in front of it, speaking in very broken Japanese, and waving coupons to passersby.

Izaya couldn't help the small smile and chuckle that escaped him. _I guess some things never change…_ He thought.

He watched as Simon waved the coupon at another passerby, who also hurried away. The man let out a sigh, slumped over and then froze. He stood up straight, and turned to look at right where Izaya was standing.

The raven let out a gasp, his heart beating frantically as those eyes seemed to bore into his soul. No, he wasn't ready, he wasn't ready to face Simon. He quickly whipped around, hurrying down the sidewalk without thinking about where he was going.

When his tunnel vision finally stopped, he was somewhere even worse. He was in the very intersection where he and Shizuo's had fought, where his arms had been shattered, where Varona almost…

The familiar feeling of his chest tightening started to overtake him. He panted hard and grabbed at the stab scar on his side. He heard the bang of the flash grenades in his ears, his arms burning as if Shizuo was punching them again.

He stumbled backwards as flashes of Shizuo, Varona, and the man who shot him passed across his eyes. His vision was blurring, he couldn't focus on anything except the words ringing in his ears.

" _Don't do it, you idiot! What good will it do for you to become a killer?"_

" _Please rest assured. I have always been a beast… who loves to kill."_

Suddenly, Izaya registered the feelings of gentle hands on his shoulders, they were gentle, and someone was talking. _That's not Varona or Shizuo, it's too high pitched… And nobody held my shoulders during… What's happening?_

The confusion started to pull him out of his panic attack, the flashbacks stopped, his breathing began to even out, and he blinked frantically to clear the fuzz in his vision. It slowly faded out, and allowed him to see the figures in front of him as he finally gained clarity.

"There we go, are you feeling better now?" The voice asked, turning Izaya's attention to the source. A man his age, dark hair, a green jacket, and a beanie. _Wait…_

Before he could stop and think, he blurted out,"Dota-chin?"

Sure enough, the man in front of him narrowed his eyes in confusion for a few moments before his eyes widened in recognition. "Izaya?!"

Erika, who was standing next to Kadota, gasped excitedly. "Iza-Iza! You're alive!" She exclaimed excitedly.

Izaya wearily looked around, and noticed that he was sitting in the back of their van. He frowned, and looked down at his hands. There was some blood in his palms where his nails had dug into them, and his chest ached. "How did I… Get here?" He asked.

Walker plopped down next to him. "You were having a panic attack, you fell over in an alley so we grabbed you and brought you here. Dota-chin helped you calm down!" He cheerfully explained.

"Everyone's been saying you were dead for years, where have you been?" Saburo questioned him.

The raven idly wondered if being dead would be a better fate than the awkward situation he was trapped in before he cautiously replied,"I've lived in Osaka for the past six years."

Kadota frowned, a glimmer of suspicion in his eyes. "Then why are you here?" He asked,"Are you up to something again?"

Izaya quickly shook his head. "I'm not an informant anymore, I work at a university now. I'm only here because Shinra and Celty found me in Osaka and invited me to their hot pot party so… I'm here."

"Whoa, are you sure?" Walker asked, his eyebrows knitting in concern. "Shizuo-kun is supposed to be there today too!"

"Believe me, I know that," Izaya said,"I'm not here to fight, I'm only here because Shinra asked. If Shizuo, or anyone else, gets mad at me for being there, I'll leave."

There was still an air of suspicion around them, so Izaya pulled out his phone, opened up his text conversation with Shinra, and held it out to Kadota. The man took it with only a moment of hesitation, and his three friends crowded next to him.

The man scrolled down for a full minute before he smirked. "He asked you twenty seven times in one day?" He queried.

Izaya groaned, he remembered that day well. "Yes. It was really frustrating, I was in the middle of a lecture, I wanted to throw my phone out the window!" He said.

"A lecture?! Oh!" Erika squealed,"Professor Iza-Iza!? Ahh! How cool! What are you a professor for?!"

"Biology," Izaya replied.

The woman frowned, placing her hands on her hips. "Huh… That doesn't fit… I would have thought you'd teach Psychology or something…" She muttered.

The raven let out an awkward chuckle. "Yeah… But, I think everyone would be better off if I didn't obsess over other human beings anymore…" He muttered.

A blanket awkward silence fell over the group, all of them looking in different directions without any idea of what to say next, while memories of the chaos they had all experienced ran through their minds.

Eventually, Kadota held out Izaya's phone to him again. "Well, it looks like we're all heading the same way so why don't we give you a ride?" He asked.

It was a small favor, but Izaya recognized the meaning behind it. He looked at his old friend, and let a small smile climb onto his face. "I'd like that."

* * *

"Aww… Kida-kun, she's so beautiful!"

Masaomi couldn't help the prideful smile that climbed onto his face as his friends stood around Saki, admiring the little bundle in her arms. He let his arm wrap around his wife's waist, pressing a kiss on her cheek.

"Isn't she?" He asked. "She gets it from her mother, they have the same hair after all."

Saki leaned against his side, giving him a slight nudge. "But she has _your_ eyes, Masaomi."

Their daughter, Kiyumi, stared up at the crowd of people with her gentle brown eyes and her little toothless smile. She reached out, her tiny hand grabbing at Celty's finger.

The Dulluhan froze up in shock, and looked at the people around her to see if they were watching the same thing as her. With practiced dexterity, she used her free hand to type out **[She's so tiny!]**

"You should have seen her when she was a newborn! I swear she could fit in a bento box!" Masaomi exclaimed, squishing his hands together to try and show the size.

Next to his wife, Shinra sniffled and wiped away a tear. "Such a beautiful part of life!" He declared,"The next generation is beginning, and we are being left in the dust! May the future be as filled with potential as they are!"

 **[You're not even thirty-two yet, stop talking like an old man]** Celty told him, but kept most of her attention on the little human in front of her.

"I can't help it, Celty! Time is moving so fast! Masomi and Saki have a kid, and so does one of our other guests tonight! I feel like we need to hurry if we want to keep up-"

Celty fiercely jabbed his side with her free hand, making the man cry out in pain. Mikado, Anri, Masomi, and Saki laughed in amusement at the couple's antics.

"Who is the other guest with kids?" Saki asked the Shinra curiously. She had been coming to the hot pot parties as long as Masaomi, and knew the regular guests well.

Shinra rubbed his side as an excited grin climbed up his face. "Oh they're an old friend! I reconnected with them, and they're coming tonight!" He exclaimed happily.

A sudden knock at the door caught the doctor's attention. The grin on his face grew wider, if that were possible. "Ah! That might be him!" He said, and then scurried down the hallway to get the door. As soon as the door opened, the group heard the excited chatter of Erika and Walker.

"The party can start now, we're here!" Walker proudly declared.

There was the sound of shuffling. "And look who we found along the way!"

The underground doctor let out an excited noise in response to her words and then, to Masaomi's shock, replied,"Orihara-kun! You made it! Did you get here okay?"

 _No. No way._ Masaomi thought, turning his horrified, wide eyes to his wife and friends. _No, he's dead, this can't be happening. Everyone said he was dead!_

"The train was actually pretty empty, so it was a nice ride," A tired, but very familiar voice replied.

The second he heard it, Masaomi knew it wasn't some elaborate prank. Kadota and his gang walked inside the apartment and into view, along with a still very alive Orihara Izaya. He was skinnier, he wasn't wearing his fur coat, and he looked very tired, but it was undoubtedly him.

A loud squeal from Erika jerked him out of his shocked stasis, and the woman scurried over to Saki. "Is this little Kiyumi?!" The woman squealed again. "She's so adorable!"

 **[And very tiny.]** Celty helpfully added.

An irritation started to rise up in Masaomi. Why were they all acting like things were normal when the man who caused all of them so much pain was standing in the room? _He should be dead, he shouldn't be anywhere near us._

" _You_ ," Masaomi sneered, his eyes still focused on the man he hated. "What are you doing here?"

Izaya's expression remained blank as he replied,"Shinra invited me, so I'm here."

"You should be dead, everyone said you were dead, that Shizuo and Varona killed you." The young man continued, not even acknowledging that Izaya had said anything.

A dark look flashed across the other man's eyes. "Kine and Manami helped me after Simon threw the flash grenade. I've been in Osaka since," He quietly said, as if that explained everything.

Masaomi's fists clenched at his side. "I wish they hadn't, I wish you were dead," He sneered.

"Kida-kun…" Mikado began to say, but Izaya held up a hand to stop him.

"It's okay, he has every right to feel that way," He said, and he even had the gall to look like he genuinely meant it.

Masaomi was shaking with anger, but Saki leaning her head on his side stopped him from blowing up, even when she said,"It's nice to see you again, Izaya."

"I'm glad you're doing well, Saki," The man said, and then held out his bag to Shinra. "I brought more of my Taiyaki that you liked."

Shinra eagerly grabbed the bag and set it on the counter. "Thank you, Orihara-kun! I've seriously been craving these!" He grabbed one of the fish-shaped pastries and turned to everyone else. "Well, now we're only missing three people, I think we should get the hot pot party started!"

"Yes! We're not the late ones this time!" Walker cheerfully exclaimed, hurrying over to one of the three hot pots that were scattered in the kitchen and living room, Erika and Saburo quick to follow.

Kadota stopped by Masaomi, and gave him a comforting squeeze on the shoulder before he passed by. "It's okay," He whispered,"He's not going to hurt anyone."

 _How do you know that?_ Masaomi wanted to ask, but he doubted that he would get a straight answer, which only irritated him even more.

To his dismay, everyone went back to what they were doing. Kadota and his friends helped set up the hot pots while Celty went to help, and Anri and Mikado went back to admiring little Kiyumi. Shinra dragged Izaya back to the kitchen and chatted animatedly to him, and Izaya listened with a small grin.

He frowned, and looked at his two friends. "Aren't you guys uncomfortable with him being here?" He questioned.

"Kida-kun, I don't think he's going to do anything," Mikado said.

Masaomi scoffed. "Of course you wouldn't, you still try to see the good in people, even after all this shit." He looked at Anri. " _You_ have to be suspicious, right?"

Anri sighed. "I am…" She admitted,"But he seems… Different. I don't want to act recklessly. Kishitani-san invited him, he must have a reason to trust him."

"But-"

"Masaomi," Saki suddenly interrupted. "Can we please not make a big deal of this? It's Kiyumi's first hot pot party, let's just enjoy today."

The young man quickly glared at her. "Enjoy it? Enjoy it?!" He hissed,"How am I supposed to enjoy it when that fucking bastard is right-"

In his wife's arms, Kiyumi suddenly burst into tears. Loud cries echoing through the apartment while her hands tightened into little fists. Saki jolted in surprise, and then quickly started to rock the child and shush her.

"It's okay, it's okay…" She tried, but all Kiyumi did was cry harder. Saki bit her lip, and looked at Masaomi in a desperate bid for help. He quickly hurried over to the couch to their diaper bag, searching for anything to stop the crying.

"Is she hungry?" Mikado nervously suggested.

Saki shook her head. "That can't be it, I fed and burped her before we came here," She tiredly explained over the crying.

 **[Diaper?]** Celty added.

Once again, his wife shook her head, looking completely exhausted. A feeling of guilt rose up in him. He was always working at the shop while Saki did her online classes at home. Was this what she had to deal with?

Before he could ask anyone for assistance, he was stopped by the sight of Izaya approaching out of the corner of his eye. "Mind if I try?" He asked in a soft voice.

"N-" Masaomi started, but never got to finish as Saki eagerly handed the baby over to the man that he hated with every fiber of his being. Several fears ran through him at once, what would this monster do to her?

Many different scenarios about how Izaya could torment him through his daughter ran through his mind, but then none of those happened.

Instead, the man took his one month old daughter and held her against his chest, his hand supporting her back, and rocking back and forth in a much more gentle way than Saki had been doing. He held the baby like it was the most natural thing in the world for him.

"I know, I know, there's a lot of tension in the room right now," He said,"And a whole new place, it can be pretty scary, I know. But you don't have to worry, your mom and dad are here to keep you safe, right?"

Masaomi didn't know how, but his little girl slowly started to calm down. The harsh cries stopped, and slowly morphed into hitched breathing. Izaya gave the girl a little grin, and then handed her back to Saki.

"Thank you," Saki genuinely replied, and then gave a slight smirk. "So it's true then, that you're the 'other guest' that has kids?"

As soon as he registered the question, Izaya's expression instantly became unimpressed as he turned to glare at Shinra.

Shinra returned his annoyance with a sheepish grin. "I'm sorry, I couldn't help it! I got excited when you said you were coming!" He explained.

The doctor was interrupted by the excited giggling of Erika. "Oh. My. Gosh! Iza-Iza is a dad and a teacher?! This is amazing! It's like Amaama to Inazuma!" She exclaimed, her eyes sparkling with happiness. "I never thought my dreams would come true!"

"Dreams? We've all thought he was dead until like an hour ago! What do you mean dreams?" Saburo demanded.

Erika's exuberant bouncing ceased, and she let out a sad sigh. "Oh I still had dreams, my friend, of a world where Izaya and Shizuo made up. They move in together, get married, adopt some kids, and every night they have hot, passionate-"

"Ah-Ah-Ah! There is a child here, Erika!" Izaya quickly called over her, motioning to the little baby in Saki's arms.

To the dismay of everyone, this only made her even more excited. "See?!" She pointed out. "He's even going all momma bear right in front of us!"

"If you keep this up, Erika, I won't say anything else about my kids the entire night, not even their names!" Izaya said, his voice the same as a disciplining parent.

This time, the raven's words made the girl gasp. She quickly slapped her hands over her mouth, and nodded in understanding. Everyone sighed in relief, and hurried to continue making the hot pot once again.

The woman scooted over to Izaya's side, and softly asked,"Can I see them now?"

Izaya sighed, but nodded and pulled out his phone again. Several people, including Masaomi himself, gathered around out of curiosity as Izaya swiped through photos of himself and two young children.

Masaomi tried to tell himself that it was a fake photo, that those kids didn't belong to him, but the resemblance was uncanny. They had the same red eyes, the girl had a similar nose, the boy had the same face shape. Izaya really did have kids.

"This is Kana, and that's Yuuto. They're five, almost six, and they're almost done with preschool," He proudly explained.

Kadota snorted in amusement. "Twins, eh?"

Izaya shrugged. "Guess it runs in the family," He replied.

Erika let out another squeal. "Iza-Iza! They look just like you! I bet they're just the sweetest little angels!" She whispered as she squished against his side for a better look.

Izaya let out a tired chuckle. "Well… Most of the time they are," He said, swiping through a few more photos of the kids.

"You should have brought them today, I didn't even get to be properly introduced last time!" Shinra reminded him.

The raven took a moment to think. "Well… If everything goes well today, and if it's okay with everyone that I come back, I just might. They have to meet Aunt Celty and Uncle Shinra eventually," He said.

Instantly, Shinra's eyes widened in shock. "U-Uncle… Shinra?" Then, he burst into tears and leapt into Izaya's arms. "Oh, Izaya! Today is the best day ever! The only way it could get better is if Celty and I decided to-"

Celty slapped him upside the head before he could finish, which made the group of people watching burst out laughing at the familiar scene. After that, Izaya's presence became less intimidating. Everyone was able to return to what they were doing, the fear that Izaya would cause trouble had vanished.

The food was just about ready when Saki stood up, and whispered to Masaomi that Kiyumi needed a diaper change. He nodded distractedly, too busy salivating over the piles of meat simmering in the bowl.

But then, out of the corner of his eyes, he saw his wife grab Izaya's sleeve and whisper to him. Izaya nodded, and then followed her to the other room. _Oh hell no._ Masaomi thought, and instantly jumped to his feet.

"Kida-kun…" Mikado started to say, but he ignored his friend. He had to get to Saki, he had to stop Izaya from manipulating her again. This was his chance, he could prove to everyone that Izaya was still a bad person.

He hurried down the hall, got right next to the door, and pressed his back against the wall. He could hear their voices, and eagerly listened.

"... Well… I wanted to ask you for some advice, Izaya…" Saki was saying. "It's about parenting and… Just how to feel about it. I know you're a single parent-"

Izaya made a curious noise. "What gave it away?"

Saki easily replied,"You never mentioned a wife, and none of the photos showed her. I didn't want to mention it in front of everyone, in case the others didn't notice… Sorry, I know that it's private..."

"Don't apologize, Saki, I had a feeling that you would see that. You've always been a perceptive one," He said,"I've known since the moment we met."

 _Bastard…_ Masaomi thought with gritted teeth.

His anger turned to confusion when Izaya continued,"Speaking of… I'm sorry… I never should have manipulated you. You were young and vulnerable, I should have been protecting you, not using you for my horrible actions."

"But if you hadn't manipulated me, I never would have met Masaomi," Saki calmly replied.

There was a sigh from Izaya. "That doesn't make it okay, Saki," He said, with a tone that a parent would have for a child.

"I don't want to talk about this right now…" Saki quickly replied,"I wanted parenting advice, remember?"

Izaya sighed, but he seemed to know that Saki wouldn't bring up the other topic again. "Of course, anything you need to know."

They fell silent for almost a full minute, much to Masaomi's annoyance. He was just about to burst in when Saki finally spoke.

"Does it get easier?" His wife asked.

It seemed Izaya was a little caught off guard by the question. "What do you mean?" He asked in return.

"Raising a kid, I mean. Your kids are almost six, and they look so happy. Sometimes Kiyumi cries and cries and I can't calm her down. With my online classes and with Masaomi at work it's all overwhelming… I feel so guilty for saying this but… Sometimes I regret it. Sometimes I feel like I don't… Love her."

A pain stabbed Masaomi in his heart. Did she really feel that way? After only a month with their little girl? Why hadn't she told him? Confused and sad, he leaned closer to the door and listened to his wife's nervous breathing.

"I know I'm horrible for even saying that but… That's why I needed to talk to you. I don't know what to do…" Saki finished.

There was the sound of shaky sobbing, and Masaomi felt his own eyes burn with the feeling of tears.

Izaya was silent for a while, before he softly replied,"Saki, you don't need to feel bad. Feelings like this, guilt and regret… As weird as it is, those are normal."

A sniffle. "R-really?"

"Yes, of course it is," The raven replied,"Parenthood is a huge change. You have someone who fully depends on you. Your whole life revolves around them and their needs, with yours coming second. It's hard to get used to, so of course you'll feel that way.

"But that doesn't make you a bad parent. It makes you human. Take some time, remember to breathe and take care of yourself too. And don't be afraid to talk about this with Masaomi, you two are a unit, you always have been."

Saki took a few deep breaths, and then replied,"Thank you… It's nice to hear that from someone else who has kids. If I… If I have any other questions, would it be okay to call and ask you?"

"Of course, anytime. Here, I'll even give you my number," Izaya easily responded, and there was the tapping of phones. A few seconds after, he continued,"Ready to go back out to the party?"

His wife hummed thoughtfully. "I think I'm going to stay here with Kiyumi for a bit…" She said,"I want to spend a little time with her. Masaomi-kun, since I know you're listening can you bring me a bowl of hotpot and the diaper bag?"

Masaomi's heart skipped a beat, and then he let out a defeated sigh. "Yes dear," He grumbled.

He heard Saki giggle as Izaya opened the door and walked out. Before the raven could go back to the party, Masaomi grabbed his arm and pulled him to his side.

"Listen…" He ordered,"I can't forget about all the things you did to us, I don't think I ever will… But… It's obvious you've changed. So… I'm willing to be civil. And maybe, one day, I'll forgive you."

Izaya's wide red eyes stared at him in shock for several seconds, and then a nervous smile climbed onto his face. "That's all I could hope for, Kida-kun."

Quickly shaking his head, the young man replied,"Just Masaomi, please."

The older man gave him another thankful grin, and then walked alongside him back to the hot pot party. Along the way, he let out a nervous laugh. "Well, you got on everyone else's good side, even mine. It's a good thing you did, because when Shizuo gets here, you're gonna need all the help you can get!"

He meant it as a joke, but instantly he heard the footsteps stop, and turned to look back at Izaya curiously. The raven's eyes were looking at something very far away, and he was clutching his own arms in a protective stance.

Masaomi frowned, and reached out to touch him. "Uh… Izaya?" He asked.

After a second, the raven jerked out of his stupor, and gave Masaomi a nervous laugh. "Yeah… You're right…" He said in a light tone, but the blonde young man could see his shaking. Before he could comment on it, Izaya quickly passed him as he continued,"L-let's go get some hot pot before they run out!"

Masaomi watched the man hurry back to Kadota and the gang, his fear hidden behind the happy face he put on. He was still good at facades, but Masaomi had seen just how Izaya felt about the oncoming reunion with his (hopefully) ex-arch nemesis.

 _I never thought I would say this in my entire life, but… Shizuo, when you get here, please don't kill him..._


End file.
